Post-Match analysis

Now, here's a topic very close to my heart! 

Ever seen a bunch of sports commentators huddle up together before, during and after any game? Needless to say, surely, you have! Those chaps, looking all dapper, sitting in air conditioned rooms, earning money by telling the world what 'they' think will happen, has happened, and should have happened? And some one actually has the cash to pay these fellows for the intellectual hogwash they feed the cameras! Sports connoisseurs, they call themselves. Bollocks!

Their job before a game can be justified to an extent. Yes, they might help build some excitement for the event about to unfold. The part where things look a bit muddled is when they discuss their favorite team's  strategy more than the team itself discusses it! If you belong to an Indian household, where as we all know 'Cricket-is-a-religion-and-Sachin-is(err was??)-god', you will surely understand the frivolity of paying such pseudo analysts, specially when you have the real match going more LIVE on the couch than on TV. The fellows at home will go into detail of every shot played throughout the match, even suggesting possible improvements to shots that were just played moments ago. And when the player realizes his mistake and nods in dismay, you have someone at home "See? I told you he shouldn't have played like that!". And you are like "Yeah.". It really sucks when you realize that you do not share the same passion for the game as the one sitting next to you.

Sadly the home-grown experts are the people who watch our bunch of overly payed monkeys, as someone doesn't want to miss a moment's worth action of the game. 

Now comes the ludicrous part. It is the part that comes after the match is 'OVER'! Yes, AFTER it is OVER! These chaps are still sitting in their studio. WHY? Again, WHY? And this is just the beginning. After the sports channels are done with their dissection of the Ghost-of-the-game-past, the news channels begin singing their carols. It sounds like the joke that goes something like this....

There's an ongoing Cricket match between India and Pakistan. Two fellows, one a Sardar supporting India, and the other supporting Pakistan, decide to place a bet on the winner. India loses the match. The fellow supporting Pakistan demands his money from the Sardar. Here's what the Sardar replies- "ओए! Highlights तोह अभी भी बाकी हैं!" (Oi! The highlights are still left!).  [**No offence meant for Sardarjis'.]

Maybe, in all this cynicism, there is one upside to hearing the yahoos talk. You get a live lesson in grooming. Damn-as-hell these blokes have a good sense of dressing! Besides, as long as you do not have Kapil Dev in the Studio, the sort of language used by them is also of good quality. In the process, you might have to see a turban bound idiom-addict-freak-of-nature, and then probably see him again on every channel on your TV screen.

This is not just for sports. Oh no it isn't! Virtually the same business goes on in the stock markets, people predicting the outcome like they are calling a head/tail in a coin toss. If they manage to guess it right, the get another shot at playing Russian roulette. A few too many to count have gone bust this way. But wait a second! It is not just at games or the stock markets or Tarrot card reading that people want a chance at saying "I told you so". I happened to come across something really cringe-worthy online. 

After the recent demise of Robin Williams, the Internet saw a deluge of statuses of people expressing their sadness over the same. One of these statuses came from a friend of mine, where he asks god as to why Justin Beiber has still been left alive. Hmm.. I wonder why.But the the cringe-worthy post/link that left me appalled was the one that said

 "Robin Williams had traits of a person likely to commit suicide."

Oh yeah? Is it Mr. Wannabe-Nostradamus? Why didn't you inform someone about it earlier? Eh?

By the way, Nostradamus is not a person whose predictions I have exactly studied in depth, but I am skeptical about the mystical and Kung-fuey image that people have built around him. 

You see, all the important conclusions come along swaying in the breeze after everything has already happened. Then there are (super)news-hour discussions that these predictors book their tickets to, where they, along with all the other cacophonous crows CAW at our ears, somehow, by some twisted sinister tricks, convincing a majority of us that what what they are yakking about holds the least bit of stead in our general awareness. And since these voices don't reach the higher echelons of power, what the holders of these voices do is try and spark off a controversy, which in turn, is a sure shot way of getting heard higher up. 

But as far as our precious time that is spent on such trivialities is concerned, what a waste!