Tuesday 31 December 2013

Thin lines

Ever been on top of a very tall building? More importantly, ever been on top of a tall building and looked down from over it's terrace's boundary wall onto the ground below? It's about a 100 meter free-fall one's looking at. More often than not, there may arise this secret desire to jump over the wall. One may even go to the extent of pulling oneself toward the wall, preparing for a jump, and all of a sudden , sanity comes to rescue and saves the day, goodness forbid if it doesn't! And all this happens despite the fact that there was no intention of a suicide attempt to begin with.
And yet, just thinking about taking a leap into the abyss sounds like madness! Doesn't it?
Let's consider another not-so-life-threatening situation. If the most commonly used curse word is the word FUCK (Firetruck is also an F-word...), the most commonly asked question will be "Are you mad??!!" (Closely followed by "What the Fuck??!!"). Find one poor soul who hasn't been questioned about his/her sanity. Our obsession with normalcy is such that given a choice, we'd have everybody except ourselves working out of an asylum. Okay, maybe that went a bit too far. 
But there is madness in nature's methods. As the Hindi tag line for some soft-drink goes "पागलपंती भी ज़रूरी है "(Paagalpanti bhi zaroori hai) meaning "Even madness is necessary!" . As unsuitable the tag line may seem with regard to the product, as far as our lives are concerned, madness is essential! In the book called Wisdom of the Psychopaths, by Kevin Dutton, the author goes to great lengths to point out how certain elements of psychopathy are inbuilt in our nature, and more so, they exist in extremes. On one hand, there might be someone so risk averse/paranoid that he/she may have to resort to medication to sometimes, keep from dying of anxiety. On the other hand, there are those, the daredevils, if one may call them so, who's head never allows them to register a potential hazard, or rather they can voluntarily choose to override our 'normal' flight responses. For them it's like this....
Consider yourself walking somewhere. Also consider a gigantic spider dangling right above your head. The spider is the bird-eating kind..THAT BIG! But consider this too that you haven't seen the spider, and even that you are not going to see the spider for some reason.  So for you, there is no big fat spider on top of your head! 
But then again, madness is built into our existence. Basically, no matter how much progress we make, there will always be the serial killers and the psychos within our population. Why?
The traits they have, in small quantities, have helped our ancestors to survive better. And it's not just our ancestors. Today, more than ever, these psychological forces are at play everywhere. Our forests are made of concrete today, but there never the less is no drop in our animal instinct. Psychopathic behavior helps rise in the social/official cadre. Why again? We aren't talking 'eating off the office staff to become the CEO of a company' madness. Where's the fun in that?
But rising to the top requires a strange sense of brutality along with the 'sincere' and 'hardworking' natures that our parents have been raving about since the beginning of time(at least our time). Brutality of the sort that is not hindered by conscience. Example? Steve Jobs could be one, although he would have never let any one do a psychoanalysis test on him. Actually all bosses are a bit 'off' somewhere in the head. And they are required to be. Imagine. There's recession/ some great economic calamity, and if a company doesn't lay off it's staff to cut down on expenses(obviously without compensation), it will sink. So it is in the hand of someone on top to take the judgment call. Now, if this someone-on-the-top in the company starts to get second thoughts because of the misery he is going to bring upon all the folks he/she is going to lay off, SOMEONE SAVE THE COMPANY!!!!! Yes, it's going to be unfair! Yes, it's not the right thing to do! Yes to a thousand things that are not supposed to happen but happen anyway! And BOLLOCKS to all of it! We are selfish beings, as selfless we try to be. Oh! Talking of selflessness, Mother Teresa is one more person who could be a name in the list of potential psychopaths!
And if one comes to think of it, anyone pursuing something with everything he/she's got will be a bit 'off' in the eyes of the world! But then, that sort of psycho-ness gets to be called dedication. Then what separates the mild psychos from the total psychos?? Not much.. Exactly speaking, this is exactly the thin line exists, just like that between winning a Nobel Prize and winning a permanent bed in a mental hospital. Just that if the amount of 'psycho-ness' were to be controlled using a knob, some mischievous fellow turned it to 'max' in the total psychos. With progress in science, we have many ways to protect ourselves from our malfunctioning brethren. Ever heard of lobotomy? The doctors just lop off a part of one's brain's frontal lobe(If I am not wrong) and voila!! You are a psycho no more! Although there may be a risk of totally debilitating a person from interacting with society altogether, as shown in the movie "One that flew over the cuckoo's nest ", atleast there is one less psycho we need to deal with! Besides, apart form Lobotomy, there are many other 'tomys' by which different parts of your brain can be lopped off and handed to you. But this ain't no anatomy class, is it?

So what to make of all of this jargon?? No clue! But just in case you plan to make the jump off the building's rooftop, wear a safety-harness or something! Happy bungee jumping!

Saturday 28 December 2013

Another evening...

I was standing on the stage. I was one of those times when the scene in front looked exactly the way it did in my thoughts. Huge crowd in front, a lot of noise, lots of whistling, lots of howling. I looked all around me. I could see my band fellows right behind me. Each one of us glaring at each other, wearing smiles that joined our two ears. We were drenched in this red light that turned to blue, then to yellow, and then just went psychedelic. I was holding onto my guitar like I would hold onto dear life, were I to be hanging from the edge of a cliff.  And at the rate at which my heart was hitting my chest from inside, it didn't feel much different than hanging onto a cliff's edge, although not that I have had any personal experience at that. It was this weird electricity I felt within. And I knew it was exactly this that I had yearned up till this moment.
Suddenly, this memory of mine from a week ago just flashed in front of me. I could barely describe it. The only part of the memory I could recollect correctly in the middle of my frenzied surrounding was I saying “I'd like it if you could make it on Friday evening...”. I could barely make out what her reply was.
Then reality sprang back at me. All the crazy lights, all the shouting, that screeching high pitched sound from the ruddy speaker... Damn! There must be something wrong with the connections! These wires always need a few tugs and shoves every now and then! Each moment seems to be taking it's own gala time to pass. It seems like there's a direct proportionality between the duration of a moment and my anxiety. Goodness! What a predicament!!
We just get a signaled for a 10 second countdown to start off. In a frenzy, my eyes dart at the crowd, sifting through it for that one familiar face. Just in time, I notice the three seconds  of the countdown remaining, barely managing to get my hands in position to start. And we were off!
Each shift of my finger's positions on the fretboard were just in time to prevent the song from going awry.  And each time I felt I had a moment to spare between getting my fingers to dance on the fretboard, I searched the crowds. Over, over and over again.
Just then, I saw a familiar brown shirt. My insides lurched for a second. But then the face turned out to be a mismatch. Oh,Brilliant!
Two songs down, now I was also to sing along while playing. So no room for slack, whatsoever. If I was looking up at all, I definitely wasn't looking at the crowd.
On the stage, you get this sensory overload. All plans get derailed! But beyond a point, things actually turn to get a lot easier. It's like getting high, just a lot better. And that too for free. You feel you're 'in the zone'. Everything looks possible from then on.
A couple of songs later, I'd almost forgotten about her turning up. Okay, that's a lie. I was trying not to think about her presence, or actually, her absence. Then just as we were starting with another song, this song by the Beatles started playing in my head...
“I saw her standing there...
And my heart went boom,
When I crossed that room,
And I held her hand, in maaeeeeeeeeeee......eeeeeeennnnn!!!”
Little did I realize that I was actually playing that song subconsciously. This was barely seconds before we were starting with the next song! When realization struck, I just stopped and looked behind me. My fellows had this dumbstruck look on their faces. Just then, I heard the crowd blast off into this huge roar. If I was in the correct mind, I thought they were ecstatic due to the mindless glitch on my part..
And even better.... I actually saw her standing there!
I just looked around the place where I'd spotted her last. Goodness gracious!! I had actually seen her! It felt like Tweety, the cartoon canary saying “I think I shaw(saw) a pphushykhat(pussycat)... I did! I did see a pphushykhat!!”
I couldn't exactly tell if  our eyes met at that point, but I was just happy. And beside, it wouldn't have hurt to say that she came to see me on stage. It's like saying “God loves you” to a god loving person. A pessimist may ask, “What if god doesn't love you?”.  If one comes to think of it, does it even matter? God loves you.... God doesn't love you..... It's all in the head anyway! If you believe that god loves you, so be it! Amen to that!
After our performance, the only thing I remember is seeing the message on my phone...”It was good!  :-)”. I didn't have to check the sender.
As I was getting down the stairs on my way out, I saw her waiting outside the EXIT door. We saw each other. And we smiled....

Saturday 21 December 2013

In the Middle of nowhere...

This is a story of a guy(Banta) and a girl(Kuki), as usual...
Kuki lived in the building opposite to Banta's building. Banta wanted to show Kuki something. By some luck, Kuki turned up in her balcony.
Kuki was very shy. So, on seeing, Banta, she blushed and turned to go back into her house. Banta tried to tell Kuki to wait by hand gestures. By some stroke of luck, Kuki saw Banta's gestures just before she turned... Lucky Banta!
Banta told her he wanted to show her something. Kuki asked what it was Banta wanted to show her. On that, Banta asked her to step out of her house for a moment. It was necessary for Kuki to step out of her house to see what Banta wanted to show.
Kuki , being shy, refused. Banta requested, requested and requested....
Finally, Kuki agreed.
Then, he asked her to come to the ground floor of the building.
Kuki, again, being shy, refused.
After much begging by Banta, Kuki agreed...... Haha.. Stupid Kuki!
Then, after more begging, Banta managed to convince Kuki to enter his building, then, climb up to his floor, and even enter his house.
Banta closed the door behind her.

There was no one in Banta's house, except for him, of course, and now, Kuki.
He drew all the curtains and switched off all the lights to make the room as dark as possible. Kuki got suspicious. She got hold of a knife from the dining table and hid it behind her while Banta was drawing the curtains. After darkenning the room, Banta removed his pants.
We all know what happened next.....
Banta: "Oye Kuki! Check this out! My underwear glows in the dark!"
Haha.. Stupid Kuki!

Thursday 19 December 2013

Touchy feet+Intellectual Begger+filmy feeling!!

And at last, something out of the usual to put down! Here's the one time when things went exactly according to plans. Of course there's always the "Well, almost."
There's something about the conversations we all in general have on Facebook, that I would like to add here, as out of place it may seem.When we are in the middle of a Facebook 'chat' that has been going on for a few days, there's this strange inexplicable anticipation from the other end that develops inside the head, I guess, specially when you secretly look forward to running into the person on the other end, in reality. Moving on.
Three days filled with fun, amazement, nostalgia and loads, loads, loads.. loads of food and a bit of that above mentioned eager anticipation throughout, specially on the last day, were to follow. And it wouldn't be far from right to say that all of it was expected.
Having reached the college a couple of days before all the hustle and bustle, it was a breeze completing all the formalities of getting into the next semester. After that was done, I joined two of my fellows for a long due trip to Palakkad, the home to half my ancestry.For th next three days, this song 'Khwaabon ke Parindey' form the movie 'Zindagi Naa Milegi Dobaara' stayed the only song in my mental playlist, that too in a loop.
A hop onto a train, and two and a half hours later, I stood on the  Olavakode station platform, a few meters away from the place where I remember spending hours of my evening as a kid with my grandpa, watching trains pass by. A small flashback here..
I am pretty close to my grandpa, whom I fondly call 'Dadaji'. As a kid, I visited him during vacations. Nothing unusual here. For some strange reason , he and I had a very strong rapport. On my visits to his place, he took me out for evening walks saying "Wa da, train kaannan pua"(Come on, let's go out to watch some trains...). He knew it was something I looked forward to. And I don't exactly remember how I developed a fondness for watching trains go by. So, at a place, a bit before the station platform, there was a small railway crossing, just enough to barely allow a few people, maybe a bicycle or a motorcycle to cross the tracks. I stood there with my Dadaji, sometimes, on his shoulders, watching train after train pass in front of us. I still ask myself why I did that. I just get no answer. Besides, I remember myself as a kid saying, "Dadaji, Eniyum uru train"(Dadaji, just one more train) each time it was supposed to be our last train. Strangely, I don't remember a single occasion when he got annoyed of, what now sounds like a very weired request.
So more than a decade after making my grandpa wait for virtually hours at that meek little crossing, I was back to the same place. Well almost, considering the small distance between that railway crossing and the platform I mentioned earlier. Never the less, the nostalgia was more than enough to get me to call Dadaji. He was ecstatic to find that I still remembered all of it. I clearly remember his happy voice over the phone. Not a bad start to a 3 day trip, not a bad start at all!
Traveling through the streets of Palakkad, it was waves of nostalgia, lashing left-right-and-center. But beyond a point, even the nostalgia got nauseating. So I gave it a chuck!.
Back at my friend, Daasa's(Aaditya), Nayan and I settled into his room. The next three days, I was going to be the cleanest I would be for all the life I have lived, and very likely all the life I am going to live. A bath twice a day is a MUST! It will be a safe move to leave this topic without getting into intricate details of my personal hygiene routine.
Moving on to all the moving around we did, we didn't do much moving around on the first day except for the train journey.
I haven't exactly had a 'boys only' trip of any kind before this, most of my trips involving err.... family crowd, but this one would be something like 'Dil Chahta Hai' with all the driving done by Daasa's father... And I am not complaining.
By the way, on the first evening, Daasa's father had proposed a morning outing to the park nearby, something Daasa had warned us about, and threatened  us against agreeing to. But then, who's afraid? The proposed time was 5:30 am. I couldn't sleep a blink after 4:45 am out of excitement. A new track, fresh morning air, what more can you ask for a start to the day? After our small sweat session, we were walking back to Daasa's place. There was this sound that came out from a very unexpected place.... and it wasn't from any of our backsides. What we heard, sounded like "Could you please give me some change, if it wouldn't be inconvenient to you?". The guy who said this was...... wait for it.... wait for it.... A beggar!!! The most sophisticated one I had encountered yet.
The first thing that crossed my mind was "Wow, even our beggers take Kerala's 100% literacy rate rather seriously!". But it saddens me that a lot of our potentially employable crowd is loitering around, unnoticed, whatever be the reason. I spent the remaining way to Daasa's place hoping we wouldn't run into another eloquent begger. 
After reaching home, I suddenly got this idea of going to the terrace of the house. Apart from my decision to spend 2 days at Daasa's, this was the best decision I had taken in the two days I spent there. The view from the terrace was tranquilizing. Although I couldn't see the Nilgiri range of mountains, as I could from my grandpa's home, the view of the horizon was refreshing. Add to that the fact that neither Nayan, ,nor Daasa followed me upstairs, it felt like 20 minutes of meditation. Those few moments felt exactly ripped out of a movie scene. Call me a narcissist, but in my mind, my hair was all stylishly flying and fluttering in the wind, like that of some bad-ass bloke sitting at the edge of a cliff. A bad-ass bloke sitting peacefully on the edge of a cliff, sipping a cup of piping hot coffee might sound like a contradiction, but all of it felt good! 
The rest of the day was bliss!
After all the morning running-around, our run-in with an intellectually superior beggar, a bath,  and amazingly amazing home cooked food, which we stuffed ourselves with, it was time for an outing. Uncle(Daasa's dad) dropped us off at MALAMPUZHA! It's one of the places I used to visit almost every time I visited my grandparents. But this kind of a 'Boys' day out' was a first.
After fooling around with, putting our heads into, and riding a ginormous crocodile made out of rocks, we decided to leave the croc to it's peaceful Tuesday-Morning solitude, as it was a Tuesday morning. Ever since we had arrived in Palakkad, the winds had been particularly strong, and cool. So despite the brightly shining sun overhead, the heat wasn't exactly an issue. After waling all around the Malampuzha garden, we climbed onto the Dam. On one side, there was this beautiful garden, on which, some 300 Crores had been spent for it's beautification, primarily a high-tech fancy 'looking' entry to the garden. That was all there was to the beautification. On the other side of the dam, there was this vast expanse of water, namely the Malampuzha river. For the sake of GK, it is a tributary of the Bharata Puzha(River).
The view from the top of the dam was 'damn' good. With kites playing in the wind all around above us, trying to reach higher by riding on thermal drafts or trying to stay still in the air against the strong winds, it was all worth capturing on camera, that is, in case one had a good camera. Again, in case......
The dam was also 'damn' long!. A lot longer than I had expected it to be. You see, when you're with your family, your mobility is pretty much restricted to your family's movements. Out of somewhere, a cranky kid starts crying because his hat/pants flew away, the girl wants to fix her hair as they too are flying in the strong wind, one more uncle says that walking in the wind feels like resistance training, someone else is having some other random problem, and the list goes on..... and on! When it's three fellows with raging hormones, even if one of them has a bit too much of 'surface area', it doesn't really slow a gang of three.
The three of us walked, sprinted and climbed our way all around the dam. The long straights on the dam caused a very strong urge to sprint the entire length of the dam, and I had no intentions to quell my urges. Running against the wind was like running through a cake. It gave a new meaning to the phrase 'it was a cake-walk'. Okay, sorry, it was a cake-run. Thankfully, Nayan too was quite excited with the prospects of running through cakes. So, the two of us got into our elements and got going! Daasa didn't exactly share our enthusiasm for cake-running. He was more busy eating the cake, I guess.
Nevertheless, we got to on of the 'far ends' of the dam, just to discover that we were about half way through it's whole length, as far away, we could see the dam extending farther away. So we were like "Let's chuck it, we'd rather get back and watch a beautiful King Cobra." 
Next stop, the Snake park. Daasa is fond of snakes. But Aunty(His mom) isn't. And hence, he seldom gets to go to the snake park. And that's exactly where we stepped in. For Company.....
From what I had heard about the snake park from Daasa in his earlier mentions of it, in my imagination, the place was this wild forest with a glass tube cutting right through it, for the protection of visitors, and snakes wreathing, wiggling, twirling and turning all around, outside the tunnel, of course. And what the place turned out to be, although only from the looks of it, was a children's park with a few chambers and glass boxes thrown in. Again, that was from the looks of it, and Looks... Are Deceptive! For instance, as much as the guy looks like Tom Criuse in the mirror, everyone knows the truth. 
Coming back to dangerous creatures in the park, they were all around! I was just hoping that another one wouldn't come out from someone's pants!! Okkay! Sorry!! Bad JOKE!!
But the park fellows had a joke ready for us. At the entrance of the park, there was this wall describing all about snakes, their names, their usual prey, their typical habitat, and stuff. There was this one rat-eating snake, who's name I cannot recollect. Apparently, the snake typically lived in people's houses.... So where did the people live?
Soon, we were all tired of all the jokes we cracked, and decided it was time to head home. So that's what we did. Back at home, we watched the James Bond's 'Thunderball', the movie that virtually added the jet-pack into our imagination. I slept during the movie.
At around 5 in the evening, it was time to get out again! We basically moved out to check out some second-hand books. On our way, Nayan found his love. It'd been a while since he had started his search for something with lots of chocolate in it. And here we were, standing outside a shop selling 'Dark Chocolate Mousse'. All three of us have a penchant for dark chocolate and coffee. As a matter of fact, we barely escaped getting into an argument with Uncle(Daasa's dad) about how coffee is not good for the body.
After that, I specifically insisted on heading straight for the book store, as I am STINGY AS HELL!!! Specially when I realize that I will soon run out of cash.
At the bookstore, I ran into this cult novel 'Zen and the art of Motorcycle Maintenance'. I didn't want another thing! Thankfully, the book store had a second copy of the book, which kept Daasa and me from getting into a wrestling match over the book. Getting out of the bookstall, I felt like a 5 year-old girl who had just gotten hold of her favorite Pink dressed/haired Barbie doll. I actually held onto the book, refusing to put it into the carry-bag that Nayan was holding. But at on point not much later, I got a feeling that I was being a bit too touchy with the book. So I popped the book into Nayan's bag.
We headed to Daasa's grandmom's place. There, more eating followed.One thing happened here. While we were leaving, Nayan did the most atrocious thing he ever could have. He went and touched Daasa's grandmom's feet to show off the  cultural values his parents instilled in him!!! It was one of those "That Moment When....." moments, which have gained popularity on Facebook. I am particularly not fond of this 'touchy-feet' custom, and had no intention to touch Daasa's grandmom's feet. And so, I didn't. I feel a bit uncultured, but not that comes in the way of my peaceful existence. Then we headed back to Daasa's home. That episode was still further followed by more eating. At the end of the day, I felt like a stuffed chicken! Then it was another night's sleep, as the next day, we were headed back to college.
In the morning, after a good breakfast from Aunty, we got ready. I was opening the gates of the house for Uncle to get his car out, when I suddenly had this strong sense that Nayan would go and touch Aunty's feet! I just turned around to go and tell him not to do so, and there the bugger was, doing exactly what I was going to plead against... Arsehole!
I walked up to Aunty. I am not exactly the 'huggy' types. I somehow managed to give her a hug. I wish I had given her a more tighter, warmer hug. In the car, while on our way to the station, I felt as if I had just lost that one rare chance to hug my mom tight, whom I usually never hug on my way out of my home, out of my shyness. It's kind of a strange feeling. The last three days couldn't be summed up in better words than those of Nayan's. "It is now that I feel I am leaving home after vacations"......

Wednesday 11 December 2013

Research says.....

 We are in the age of information. With the number of ongoing researches and the results of even more researches surfacing each day, it isn't that common to find two studies with contradictory results surfacing in a very short span of each other. Now, there are too many examples to cite, but let us zero down on a recent one...

"Why you should choose a pint over a coffee: Caffeine can shorten life expectancy - but alcohol lengthens it."

This one has been doing a rounds in the newspapers and, quite inevitably, on the Internet.

Firstly, the whole concept of conducting an experiment with a bunch of parameters governing/controlling some phenomenon is itself awe-striking, if there is such a word called 'awe-striking' in the first place. For instance, there's this Behavioral Economics professor called Dan Ariely. This bloke went around Pittsburgh, conducting a study with the students from 2 prominent universities, namely Carnegie Melon and University of Pittsburgh. The study was to test conditions under which students were most likely to cheat in a test.

During the tests, student from both the universities were made to sit together in a class. They were provided with all the conditions conducive for cheating in the test, assuming for the sake of understanding that they had the answer-key to all the questions. The study revolved around finding the honesty in the students from each of the two colleges.

During the experiment, the students wore the sweatshirt of the college they belonged to.

The instructions for the test were as follows..

There were 20 questions

If the students finished all 20, they were to get up and out of the class,throw away the answer sheet and go to the invigilator to declare the number of questions they answered.

They would be payed a fixed amount of money for every question they declared they answered, correctness of the answer being immaterial. 

Plain and simple. Or so it sounded.

There was obviously a hitch. The questions were hard enough for anyone to finish in the provided time. But the researcher had a way around it. He had an impostor-student planted amidst the others. He too wore a Jersey of either one or the other college each time the study was conducted with different batches of students of the two colleges mentioned above. This student would be made to stand up in the middle of the test to declare he had completed the test.

It turned out that the amount of cheating among the students was directly linked with the university jersey the impostor-student wore. For instance, if the impostor wore the Jersey of Carnegie Mellon, Carnegie Mellon students ended up cheating more than the students from Pittsburgh University. On the other hand, if the impostor wore the Pittsburgh University, the Carnegie Mellon University students cheated far less than they would otherwise. And the results were rather obviously similar when analyzed for students of Pittsburgh University. The whole scene's got a lot to do with behavior of members of a group. Okay, end of story! Lights out! Pack up! Easy? 

Wow! It is bizarrely amazing how many things there are around to find and figure, even more so are  the minds conjuring up the conditions to put random theories to test.

 Now, coming back to the Coffee-Alcohol-Life Span study that surfaced recently. Dig just a bit deeper into the working of this study, and try as much as one may to avoid technical terms, encountering the word 'Telomere' is inevitable. The study states that consumption of alcohol causes lengthening of the telomere , (which is supposed to increase one's life span)and consumption of coffee causes shortening of the telomere (which is supposed to decrease one's life span.) So now, everyone will want to go around chugging beer, right? Pretty surely, few may have already started.

Now, onto telomeres, down to common man's jargon. We know cells divide. And if the multiply/divide/replicate like crazy, they turn into cancer/tumor cells. Let's not get too mathematical about the previous sentence. Consider this. There's a book, say of 150 pages. This is obviously a special book! Each time the book is read, one page from the end shreds itself completely. So if the book is passed around 50 times, the 50th reader gets to read only 2/3s of the book. To avoid this problem, the publisher slaps on 50 blank pages to the end of the book, so that at least 50 people get to read the complete story. Besides, which book lasts 50 readers?!

So now, every on, or at least 50 fellows get to read the book in it's entirety. Something very similar goes on in our body. Each time a cell in our body divides, the DNA is copied to produce 2 sets of DNA in the cell before dividing, to give each cell its own DNA after getting divided. There is a chain attached to the end of the DNA. This chain has a limited number of links. Each time the DNA divides in a cell, one of the links on the chain is taken off from it's end. So the cell can replicate/divide only as many times as many there are these links on the chain. By the way, this chain is the TELOMERE. That's all there is to it.

Theoretically, and even really speaking, the longer the telomere, the more times the cell can divide. And, the more number of times the cell can divide, the longer the organism can survive, which is exactly what the 'Coffee-Alcohol' research points out. We hence will technically live longer if we consume alcohol, obvously in moderation, instead of coffee.

In a way, the study may give an extreme impression that "Coffee-consumption shortens life". But extending the second half of the study's outcome to the extremes, it may also suggest that Alcohol, which a while ago was going to lengthen our life-span, could also turn healthy cells into cancerous/tumorous ones if it manages to increase the length of telomeres  a bit too much. Although that is a bit too far-fetched an idea, as is the one that 'Coffee consumption shortens life', it is important to understand that our natural systems have been designed to deal with and prevent as much as anomalies as possible, given the abuse it is subjected to. So, it is extremely important to understand as much as possible the underlying machinery of things we read about and come across.

As for the continuous onslaught of information, the endless researches and their results, we could just use them as instruments to appreciate the capacity of our minds to leave us 'Awe-struck'.