Wrong song

Imagine yourself, all huffing, puffing, sprinting up the last flight of stairs imagining yourself as Rocky Balboa, all fists pumping into the air, like pistons inside a screeching Formula 1 engine. Actually, even better! You are jumping rope about 240 times a minute, imagining some really fast inspiring sound track, Here comes the tragedy. Some bloke near your house really cranks up this 10000 watt speaker that belongs to the nearby community....

Now, the speaker bellowing all it's bells is not even the beginning of the tragedy. Guess the song this smart-ass bloke plays to test the speaker...

The instrumental track of the movie 'Kal ho na ho' sounds good?? The one that really makes you cry??

Sure it sounds good!!

But only if you are wallowing in some loved one's memories. Not when you are seeing sparks fly each time your jump-rope hit the floor!!!

You see, the world is hard on everyone. So you still do everything to make the sparks fly off the ground each time the rope passes below your feet. But somehow, the song gets to your head at some subconscious level and you get all unnecessarily senti-mental. More so mental. I sure don't know why it happened to me when it did. It did. And I hated it. 

Another song that has been a real pain in the neck is this Malayalam song 'Karutha penne', which translates to 'Hey you dark girl!!'. It's turned into a real ear-worm, which unfortunately doesn't have any plans to leave my ear, and it's been like this for the past 4 days. Trouble with this song is that I have nick-named a good friend of mine 'Karutha pennu'(meaning Dark skinned girl). I gave this girl the nick-name long before this above mentioned song turned into an ear-worm. Very crudely speaking, this girly character seems to be occupying too much space in my head, all day long, and I have no clue if that is a good thing or not. I secretly hope this 'Karutha pennu',(a.k.a Blondie) sees this somehow...

Okay, moving on!

There's something about Malayalam songs that gets to you a lot more than songs of any other language for some reason, probably for the fact that "I am a Malayali" (Although I don't wear a Pink Lungi...)

There's this one, 'Innale, ente nenjile', meaning "Yesterday, in my err.... heart of hearts", (very inappropriate translation, mind you) that suddenly pops up in the middle of my mental playlist, specially when I am away in college. This one, as much as it sounds, is not a romantic song. It's a guy remembering his father. 

Now, we all know how screwed up a father-son relationship is. This duo, father and son, spend a lifetime without getting very sentimental upfront in public, each one knowing the strong undercurrents flowing beneath the apparent surfaces. So each time this song 'Innale, .....' plays inside my head, two streams start flowing form some place I can't see, my vision becomes blurry, and I want to see 'Pappa' very badly!!!

There are some times I really appreciate the inbuilt-ipod-feature in my head. Specially at times when I head out for a run. Some really perky song starts playing without my need to press the 'Start button'. Currently this song is 'Zinda', from the movie 'Bhaag Milkha Bhaag'. This internal music player even puts a song on 'loop' for you whenever needed... and also many a times, when it isn't needed.

But there's no replacement for a room-mate who knows your favorite songs and plays them when you are at an all time low, or when you don't feel like waking up for class. This fellow will play 'It's a long way to the top'(AC/DC) at 7:55 in the mornning. First thing you do is jump off the bed!! Second thing you do is YOU START DANCING!!!! Third thing you remember doing is reaching the 8 O' clock class ON TIME! 

It is absolutely amazing that so many human emotions are so conveniently expressed in songs. Crazy part is that you need real balls in case it involves expressing your emotions to another human. Now that's where a genetic mutation, that grows you an extra set of testicles, may come in handy. That would sure as hell be a gene worth isolating.. Extra balls?? Anyone??  

Scenes

DISCLAIMER!! All sentences within ** are thought bubbles of the protagonist

[SCENE 1]

It begins with a 5 year old fellow, surrounded by weird looking creatures thrice his size, or more, if you consider their circumferences, all holding a glass with colorful liquids. Suddenly, one of them bumps into our hero.

"Owww!! I am so sorry! You aren't hurt, are you, dear??"

"Oh no! Not at all, Aunty!"*Except for the fact that you just crushed my foot with your stilettos*...

"What's your name, dear??" *What's with the 'DEAR' eh?? Why wouldn't she just cut it? So much for high society manners*

"My name's Andy."

"ANDY... Hmm! what a sweet name!!" *There she goes off again...*

"I know, Aunty!"

"Haha!! You naughty little one"... *Even when you're 5, You can even spot their extra sweet diabetes inducing fake smile*

*I'm just hoping she doesn't ask me about my future plans...*

Now, a few people are gathering around the kid and the lady. Their conversation seems on a higher intellectual plane than the others, it seems.

"Hey Andy, What would you like to be when you grow up??"

"I'd like to be GREAT.."

This one really got the attention of all the others trying to make small talk among themselves. It was one of those moments when you feel everyone in the room exhaled out together, leaving the room in utter silence.

And thankfully,  after that, the Aunty character kept her zipper shut.... Yeah, she was wearing jeans.. Annd she'd forgotten to *zip* it up; that is, until I slyly pointed it out to her before fleeing the scene.

In an adult's head, if someone were to ask "What do you mean by great" to a 5 year old, the expected answer would be something like "Chocolate ice-cream!!".

And one thing I never understood. The moment 'normal' grown ups start talking to a kid, they become so un-creative!

It's like all those "Knock! Knock!" jokes...

It's always "Who's there???", ALWAYS!!

Why??? HUH??

Look through the peeping hole instead!! Dumb humans!!

Don't have a peeping hole?? Put one on the door!!!

[SCENE 2]

This one is a birthday scene.

The cake's in the middle of the room. For a few good moments, you can stand around thinking you are a serial killer, specially when the knife is in your hand! He he he he.. HE! HE! HE! HE! AAAHAHAHAHAHA!! That is supposed to be my version of a maniacal laugh.

Why do the folks around you clap all along the 'Happy birthday' song? eh?? its like

hap(clap)py bir(clap)th(clap)day (clap)to (clap)you (clap) (clap) (clap)

hap(clap)py bir(clap)th(clap)day (clap)to (clap)you (clap) (clap) (clap)

Laa laa la-la-lu-lu-lu-ho-ho-ho!!

all in rhythm so far. And all singing mindlessly... The worst part is when the clapping turns completely random after the song is over.  

Another thing about the cake!! Almost forgot!

 Once, my dad decided to skip on the fancy candle in the shape of my age... the most unnecessary piece of decoration on the cake! That too, it's inedible! Actually, the whole deal about candles has seemed stupid from the very beginning!

So this lady... another one of those 'aunty' characters comes along saying 

"अरे बच्चे के केक पे तोह वोह अच्छी  वाली मोमबत्ती नहीं लगाई ??"( You didn't put that fancy looking candle on the cake, eh kid?)

Thankfully, shutting up 'Aunty'-type characters is a hobby... so I retorted "Aunty, even you didn't have candles on your birthday cake, no?? I was inspired by your cost cutting measures, hence no fancy candles."

[SCENE 3]

I call this one 'Man in the mirror'

It happens about every time that I look myself in a big mirror. I imagine someone else playing me. Like someone (however jobless he/she be) made a biographical  movie on me.

There's a camera looming somewhere in the room with the big mirror, capturing me(or the fellow playing me), cluelessly looking into the mirror. And in the background, a very familiar voice , preferably Morgan Freeman's, says something like "Who would have known?? This bloke Andy would break out of a Stephen King novel, break into the silver screen, only to break out of Shawshank prison... but not before completely screwing the Jailor!! And MAN was I there in the same story!!"

Okay, maybe that's not what I'd like Morgan Freeman's lines to be in my bio-pic. But choosing the name 'Andy' just kind of makes sense now, in hindsight.

How about this?? Imagine everything in quotes as being said by Mr. Freeman...

"He was the guy who wanted to be great, even before he knew that there are things beyond chocolate ice cream that are supposed to be great!!.."

Okay, that one actually sounded like 

"I am the greatest, I said that even before I knew I was. "

Muhammad Ali

But never mind. 

Hasn't each one of us been in front of a mirror, thinking, "Here's the next star of the millennium!!" Most of us give the run-of-the-mill answers when we, as kids, are asked "What would you like to be when you grow up, kid??"

To be true to myself, [SCENE 1] is only a figment of my imagination. But then why not?  Ever heard a kid's answer leave the older fellows dumbfounded?? How easily, we, even when we are kids, we conform. And that's what we are made to do for the rest of our lives. 'FIT IN! ELSE YOU SHALL BE CHUCKED OUT!'

It's always the INs and the OUTs. Be it an elite group, club, some random list, company or just anything. 

How about being GREAT? At least in your dreams, if not in reality??

Trust me, it feels great... 

42 minutes

Goodness gracious!! I just got 42 minutes more of life left in me for today!I know, it sounds crazy, but this is one time I am feeling life slip out in front of my eyes!
Until now, this question "What would you do if this were your last day" has troubled me like hell. As vague and cliched this question might seem, it is kind of starting to make sense. Just imagine. All you have with you is a few minutes. Not even a freaking day! And the fellow who gave me this challenge was smart. REALLY smart. The fellow sure must have been desperate to try a new trick on some poor bloke, who this time, unfortunately happened to be me. You know why this fellow is so smart? The fucker kept a count-down style stop watch in front of me, and said "Here you go! You got 42 minutes to live until it is going to be midnight. Do all you can, say all you can, to whom so all and ever you can." I don't really know but today the watch just seems to be rolling along a lot faster. Not that I have too much experience of life. I don't even know how I know these words. For some reason, I happen to be able to locate the keys on this board sort of a thing without actually looking at them. That is even more weird. How did I know what a board was?
For some very odd reason, there's this face that's been bothering me ever since I began writing about 9 minutes ago. The face seems to be very clear. WAIT! Somehow, I know the name of the person, the face I am seeing. But something tells me to keep from typing the name. It feels like there is something about the person I subconsciously want to keep to myself. There's some kind of conflict in my head as to why I am withholding any knowledge I have about this person.
Crap!! Crap!! Crap!! I just paused for over a minute, just thinking about the face that's floating somewhere inside my head. Goodness!! Just 28 minutes more! Why am I not able to type any faster??
Okay, okay!! I remember... I was talking to her somewhere.... It looked like a very long stretch of road. She had company from before we met. Wait, it was another friend of hers. For some reason, the friend was walking slowly, looking into her cellphone, almost as if she was waiting for the two of us to move on. I couldn't really put anything together. I kept slowing her and myself and to allow the friend to catch up, but then the friend would kind of slow down. It happened two or three times.
Hold on!! Hold on! What in hell am I talking about??
I guess you should never let a man talk in his last moments. It seems the person who would blurt out everything that is not going to make sense to a single soul. It's like suffering from verbal diarrhea. Wow! Another long pause.. Now I guess I am not thinking anything. My mind feels like a clean slate, exactly what it looked like when I began writing.
I know not how I can picture these weird flying creatures, attracted to some light bulb. What I so know about these weird creatures, strangely enough, is that they have a lifespan of only one day. So Somewhere near the end of the day, these creatures are going to burn themselves in the heat of the bulb, by the way they are hovering near the bulb, or they are going to fall off, having exhausted all their life's energy.
Isn't it strange? They will get away with their life, hovering about a light bulb? Without knowing what they were meant to do?
There!! I lose another minute in pointless contemplation! What?! Only 15 minutes remaining!! What do I do? What do I do?! Thinking of these weird flying insects, I remember this scene from somewhere. I have no clue how it entered my thoughts, but here;s what the scene looks like. There's this street. It's packed with people, all moving in one single direction. It's probably a one way street. They are all dressed in black. It looks like a movie set for some reason. What I do not understand, is that all of them are wearing the same facial expression. And the expression on their face is not one I like . I have a fear of the Clown face. The one where the facial skin is all white.. There's a very thick eye-liner applied. The eyes look as though someone just punched them. The lips have been made to look extra red with lipstick. There's something peculiar about the smile that feels purely repulsive. The yellow teeth... There's a cut on either corners of the mouth, extending deep into the cheeks, as though to make the face smile permanently. But it just doesn't seem to  be working.
Shit! Just 5 minutes left.
I just can't see a thing except for this screen. It looks like my vision of the whole world has been reduce to my mind, this screen, the keyboard and my hands. And just when I looked at the clock at the corner of this screen, showing 4 minutes of life remaining, I just started feeling the seconds are just getting shorter!
No!! Wait!! Wait!! I got two minutes remaining!! Don't pull me away!! Someone stop this!!
Wait!! Hold it!! Hellllllllllllllppppppppppppp...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Awesomeness!

There's a line I read a while ago. I can't exactly remember the exact wording, but it went something like this-

If you find yourself surrounded by douche-bags, you are probably looking at your surroundings, more so the people in your surroundings with a very narrow perspective. 

It is hard to come even close to realizing the amount of genius that surrounds us. And by genius, it is not a reference to the equation-solving blokes or the computer-nerds. There's all kinds of genius! Everywhere! The guy sitting next to us during lectures might be the next big artist.The thin lean girl, whom you might have only looked at because she looked cute, turns out, she has climbed Mt. Everest. The geek in your class, who is looked upon as just another number cruncher in the so called 'flawed' academic system? Turns out that he applied for an internship at New York University under a professor, got accepted, and dropped it all because he felt it would be too expensive a deal for his parents, whereas another guy, a year ago, went to CERN for an internship. Maybe, lets not just get mangled in purely academic examples. Remember the silent one in class? If situation demanded, he/she would have stood up for the class, and in all possibility, he/she did. Maybe that's why he/she no longer remained the 'Silent one' any more.  Many among us love to watch movies. But how many quotes could one recite without making a single error in the dialogue, or the style in which it was delivered in the movie? More importantly, how many fellows out there even pay extremely close attention to the intricacies of a dialogue, who actually revel in every word that comes out of every character's mouth? Actually, there are many. It's just that most don't notice. 

As a matter of fact, which may actually sound like I am boasting, it truly takes a genius to spot one. Be it any situation, if you are surrounded by people, there will always emerge the proverbial 'Ten gallon head', maybe not the same one each time, and maybe not just one each time. For a change sometimes, it just might be you or I. If you are already a 10 gallon head, RESPECT! If not(yet), as Steve Jobs said in his commencement speech at Stanford,

 "As with all matters of the heart, you will know when it is right. Keep looking for what you love to do." 

Okay, maybe, let's move a step beyond the obvious awesomeness we might already be used to. Let's do a kind of sound check. Remember the fellow who's smiling all the time, singing in his cacophonous tone each time you run into him in the hostel/college/apartment building corridor, almost like he's high 'full time'?? In all probability, he could be 'high....full time'. Also, maybe he's high on life, FULL TIME. So he doesn't give a flying pig's ass about those who do not like what he sings, SPECIFICALLY if no one has the balls to go and tell him regarding the same. The simple act of just enjoying the short life we have to the possible fullest takes a genius of another kind.

We are surrounded by awesomeness. The people around us are awesome! What the awesome people do, is awesome!(Yes, people are what they do. All apologies for the redundancy of the previous statement!) Realizing the awesomeness in the awesome things that awesome people do...is also awesome!

At the end of all of this, there is this very strange feeling that I experience each time I feel the abundance of awesomeness in human potential. The feeling I am talking about is, albeit extremely difficult to put into describe, but I feel a strange sensation in my chest and stomach. And NO, I do not have 'gas' issues. 

The feeling I am talking about seems like everything inside you,each cell is about to explode outwards. I feel extremely restless. Every moment lost, feels like the desperation for a gasp of air when you are drowning; like if you were told that you have only 10 more minutes of your life left on earth. It is just too powerful a sensation. It is these times I feel most inspired and motivated to nail anything and everything I do/am doing at that time. (Uh..oh..I see trouble in that last line....) I feel unbeatable. And I crave for these moments. It is strange, the human psyche. How it has the power to make one feel happy due to the success/triumph of another.

Look around. Feel the all-pervading ether of awesomeness. Can't see it? You ain't looking!