Thin lines

Ever been on top of a very tall building? More importantly, ever been on top of a tall building and looked down from over it's terrace's boundary wall onto the ground below? It's about a 100 meter free-fall one's looking at. More often than not, there may arise this secret desire to jump over the wall. One may even go to the extent of pulling oneself toward the wall, preparing for a jump, and all of a sudden , sanity comes to rescue and saves the day, goodness forbid if it doesn't! And all this happens despite the fact that there was no intention of a suicide attempt to begin with.

And yet, just thinking about taking a leap into the abyss sounds like madness! Doesn't it?

Let's consider another not-so-life-threatening situation. If the most commonly used curse word is the word FUCK (Firetruck is also an F-word...), the most commonly asked question will be "Are you mad??!!" (Closely followed by "What the Fuck??!!"). Find one poor soul who hasn't been questioned about his/her sanity. Our obsession with normalcy is such that given a choice, we'd have everybody except ourselves working out of an asylum. Okay, maybe that went a bit too far. 

But there is madness in nature's methods. As the Hindi tag line for some soft-drink goes "पागलपंती भी ज़रूरी है "(Paagalpanti bhi zaroori hai) meaning "Even madness is necessary!" . As unsuitable the tag line may seem with regard to the product, as far as our lives are concerned, madness is essential! In the book called Wisdom of the Psychopaths, by Kevin Dutton, the author goes to great lengths to point out how certain elements of psychopathy are inbuilt in our nature, and more so, they exist in extremes. On one hand, there might be someone so risk averse/paranoid that he/she may have to resort to medication to sometimes, keep from dying of anxiety. On the other hand, there are those, the daredevils, if one may call them so, who's head never allows them to register a potential hazard, or rather they can voluntarily choose to override our 'normal' flight responses. For them it's like this....

Consider yourself walking somewhere. Also consider a gigantic spider dangling right above your head. The spider is the bird-eating kind..THAT BIG! But consider this too that you haven't seen the spider, and even that you are not going to see the spider for some reason.  So for you, there is no big fat spider on top of your head! 

But then again, madness is built into our existence. Basically, no matter how much progress we make, there will always be the serial killers and the psychos within our population. Why?

The traits they have, in small quantities, have helped our ancestors to survive better. And it's not just our ancestors. Today, more than ever, these psychological forces are at play everywhere. Our forests are made of concrete today, but there never the less is no drop in our animal instinct. Psychopathic behavior helps rise in the social/official cadre. Why again? We aren't talking 'eating off the office staff to become the CEO of a company' madness. Where's the fun in that?

But rising to the top requires a strange sense of brutality along with the 'sincere' and 'hardworking' natures that our parents have been raving about since the beginning of time(at least our time). Brutality of the sort that is not hindered by conscience. Example? Steve Jobs could be one, although he would have never let any one do a psychoanalysis test on him. Actually all bosses are a bit 'off' somewhere in the head. And they are required to be. Imagine. There's recession/ some great economic calamity, and if a company doesn't lay off it's staff to cut down on expenses(obviously without compensation), it will sink. So it is in the hand of someone on top to take the judgment call. Now, if this someone-on-the-top in the company starts to get second thoughts because of the misery he is going to bring upon all the folks he/she is going to lay off, SOMEONE SAVE THE COMPANY!!!!! Yes, it's going to be unfair! Yes, it's not the right thing to do! Yes to a thousand things that are not supposed to happen but happen anyway! And BOLLOCKS to all of it! We are selfish beings, as selfless we try to be. Oh! Talking of selflessness, Mother Teresa is one more person who could be a name in the list of potential psychopaths!

And if one comes to think of it, anyone pursuing something with everything he/she's got will be a bit 'off' in the eyes of the world! But then, that sort of psycho-ness gets to be called dedication. Then what separates the mild psychos from the total psychos?? Not much.. Exactly speaking, this is exactly the thin line exists, just like that between winning a Nobel Prize and winning a permanent bed in a mental hospital. Just that if the amount of 'psycho-ness' were to be controlled using a knob, some mischievous fellow turned it to 'max' in the total psychos. With progress in science, we have many ways to protect ourselves from our malfunctioning brethren. Ever heard of lobotomy? The doctors just lop off a part of one's brain's frontal lobe(If I am not wrong) and voila!! You are a psycho no more! Although there may be a risk of totally debilitating a person from interacting with society altogether, as shown in the movie "One that flew over the cuckoo's nest ", atleast there is one less psycho we need to deal with! Besides, apart form Lobotomy, there are many other 'tomys' by which different parts of your brain can be lopped off and handed to you. But this ain't no anatomy class, is it?

So what to make of all of this jargon?? No clue! But just in case you plan to make the jump off the building's rooftop, wear a safety-harness or something! Happy bungee jumping!

Another evening...

I was standing on the stage. I was one of those times when the scene in front looked exactly the way it did in my thoughts. Huge crowd in front, a lot of noise, lots of whistling, lots of howling. I looked all around me. I could see my band fellows right behind me. Each one of us glaring at each other, wearing smiles that joined our two ears. We were drenched in this red light that turned to blue, then to yellow, and then just went psychedelic. I was holding onto my guitar like I would hold onto dear life, were I to be hanging from the edge of a cliff.  And at the rate at which my heart was hitting my chest from inside, it didn't feel much different than hanging onto a cliff's edge, although not that I have had any personal experience at that. It was this weird electricity I felt within. And I knew it was exactly this that I had yearned up till this moment.
Suddenly, this memory of mine from a week ago just flashed in front of me. I could barely describe it. The only part of the memory I could recollect correctly in the middle of my frenzied surrounding was I saying “I'd like it if you could make it on Friday evening...”. I could barely make out what her reply was.
Then reality sprang back at me. All the crazy lights, all the shouting, that screeching high pitched sound from the ruddy speaker... Damn! There must be something wrong with the connections! These wires always need a few tugs and shoves every now and then! Each moment seems to be taking it's own gala time to pass. It seems like there's a direct proportionality between the duration of a moment and my anxiety. Goodness! What a predicament!!
We just get a signaled for a 10 second countdown to start off. In a frenzy, my eyes dart at the crowd, sifting through it for that one familiar face. Just in time, I notice the three seconds  of the countdown remaining, barely managing to get my hands in position to start. And we were off!
Each shift of my finger's positions on the fretboard were just in time to prevent the song from going awry.  And each time I felt I had a moment to spare between getting my fingers to dance on the fretboard, I searched the crowds. Over, over and over again.
Just then, I saw a familiar brown shirt. My insides lurched for a second. But then the face turned out to be a mismatch. Oh,Brilliant!
Two songs down, now I was also to sing along while playing. So no room for slack, whatsoever. If I was looking up at all, I definitely wasn't looking at the crowd.
On the stage, you get this sensory overload. All plans get derailed! But beyond a point, things actually turn to get a lot easier. It's like getting high, just a lot better. And that too for free. You feel you're 'in the zone'. Everything looks possible from then on.
A couple of songs later, I'd almost forgotten about her turning up. Okay, that's a lie. I was trying not to think about her presence, or actually, her absence. Then just as we were starting with another song, this song by the Beatles started playing in my head...
“I saw her standing there...
And my heart went boom,
When I crossed that room,
And I held her hand, in maaeeeeeeeeeee......eeeeeeennnnn!!!”
Little did I realize that I was actually playing that song subconsciously. This was barely seconds before we were starting with the next song! When realization struck, I just stopped and looked behind me. My fellows had this dumbstruck look on their faces. Just then, I heard the crowd blast off into this huge roar. If I was in the correct mind, I thought they were ecstatic due to the mindless glitch on my part..
And even better.... I actually saw her standing there!
I just looked around the place where I'd spotted her last. Goodness gracious!! I had actually seen her! It felt like Tweety, the cartoon canary saying “I think I shaw(saw) a pphushykhat(pussycat)... I did! I did see a pphushykhat!!”
I couldn't exactly tell if  our eyes met at that point, but I was just happy. And beside, it wouldn't have hurt to say that she came to see me on stage. It's like saying “God loves you” to a god loving person. A pessimist may ask, “What if god doesn't love you?”.  If one comes to think of it, does it even matter? God loves you.... God doesn't love you..... It's all in the head anyway! If you believe that god loves you, so be it! Amen to that!
After our performance, the only thing I remember is seeing the message on my phone...”It was good!  :-)”. I didn't have to check the sender.
As I was getting down the stairs on my way out, I saw her waiting outside the EXIT door. We saw each other. And we smiled....

In the Middle of nowhere...

This is a story of a guy(Banta) and a girl(Kuki), as usual...
Kuki lived in the building opposite to Banta's building. Banta wanted to show Kuki something. By some luck, Kuki turned up in her balcony.
Kuki was very shy. So, on seeing, Banta, she blushed and turned to go back into her house. Banta tried to tell Kuki to wait by hand gestures. By some stroke of luck, Kuki saw Banta's gestures just before she turned... Lucky Banta!
Banta told her he wanted to show her something. Kuki asked what it was Banta wanted to show her. On that, Banta asked her to step out of her house for a moment. It was necessary for Kuki to step out of her house to see what Banta wanted to show.
Kuki , being shy, refused. Banta requested, requested and requested....
Finally, Kuki agreed.
Then, he asked her to come to the ground floor of the building.
Kuki, again, being shy, refused.
After much begging by Banta, Kuki agreed...... Haha.. Stupid Kuki!
Then, after more begging, Banta managed to convince Kuki to enter his building, then, climb up to his floor, and even enter his house.
Banta closed the door behind her.

There was no one in Banta's house, except for him, of course, and now, Kuki.
He drew all the curtains and switched off all the lights to make the room as dark as possible. Kuki got suspicious. She got hold of a knife from the dining table and hid it behind her while Banta was drawing the curtains. After darkenning the room, Banta removed his pants.
We all know what happened next.....
Banta: "Oye Kuki! Check this out! My underwear glows in the dark!"
Haha.. Stupid Kuki!

Touchy feet+Intellectual Begger+filmy feeling!!

And at last, something out of the usual to put down! Here's the one time when things went exactly according to plans. Of course there's always the "Well, almost."

There's something about the conversations we all in general have on Facebook, that I would like to add here, as out of place it may seem.When we are in the middle of a Facebook 'chat' that has been going on for a few days, there's this strange inexplicable anticipation from the other end that develops inside the head, I guess, specially when you secretly look forward to running into the person on the other end, in reality. Moving on.

Three days filled with fun, amazement, nostalgia and loads, loads, loads.. loads of food and a bit of that above mentioned eager anticipation throughout, specially on the last day, were to follow. And it wouldn't be far from right to say that all of it was expected.

Having reached the college a couple of days before all the hustle and bustle, it was a breeze completing all the formalities of getting into the next semester. After that was done, I joined two of my fellows for a long due trip to Palakkad, the home to half my ancestry.For th next three days, this song 'Khwaabon ke Parindey' form the movie 'Zindagi Naa Milegi Dobaara' stayed the only song in my mental playlist, that too in a loop.

A hop onto a train, and two and a half hours later, I stood on the  Olavakode station platform, a few meters away from the place where I remember spending hours of my evening as a kid with my grandpa, watching trains pass by. A small flashback here..

I am pretty close to my grandpa, whom I fondly call 'Dadaji'. As a kid, I visited him during vacations. Nothing unusual here. For some strange reason , he and I had a very strong rapport. On my visits to his place, he took me out for evening walks saying "Wa da, train kaannan pua"(Come on, let's go out to watch some trains...). He knew it was something I looked forward to. And I don't exactly remember how I developed a fondness for watching trains go by. So, at a place, a bit before the station platform, there was a small railway crossing, just enough to barely allow a few people, maybe a bicycle or a motorcycle to cross the tracks. I stood there with my Dadaji, sometimes, on his shoulders, watching train after train pass in front of us. I still ask myself why I did that. I just get no answer. Besides, I remember myself as a kid saying, "Dadaji, Eniyum uru train"(Dadaji, just one more train) each time it was supposed to be our last train. Strangely, I don't remember a single occasion when he got annoyed of, what now sounds like a very weired request.

So more than a decade after making my grandpa wait for virtually hours at that meek little crossing, I was back to the same place. Well almost, considering the small distance between that railway crossing and the platform I mentioned earlier. Never the less, the nostalgia was more than enough to get me to call Dadaji. He was ecstatic to find that I still remembered all of it. I clearly remember his happy voice over the phone. Not a bad start to a 3 day trip, not a bad start at all!

Traveling through the streets of Palakkad, it was waves of nostalgia, lashing left-right-and-center. But beyond a point, even the nostalgia got nauseating. So I gave it a chuck!.

Back at my friend, Daasa's(Aaditya), Nayan and I settled into his room. The next three days, I was going to be the cleanest I would be for all the life I have lived, and very likely all the life I am going to live. A bath twice a day is a MUST! It will be a safe move to leave this topic without getting into intricate details of my personal hygiene routine.

Moving on to all the moving around we did, we didn't do much moving around on the first day except for the train journey.

I haven't exactly had a 'boys only' trip of any kind before this, most of my trips involving err.... family crowd, but this one would be something like 'Dil Chahta Hai' with all the driving done by Daasa's father... And I am not complaining.

By the way, on the first evening, Daasa's father had proposed a morning outing to the park nearby, something Daasa had warned us about, and threatened  us against agreeing to. But then, who's afraid? The proposed time was 5:30 am. I couldn't sleep a blink after 4:45 am out of excitement. A new track, fresh morning air, what more can you ask for a start to the day? After our small sweat session, we were walking back to Daasa's place. There was this sound that came out from a very unexpected place.... and it wasn't from any of our backsides. What we heard, sounded like "Could you please give me some change, if it wouldn't be inconvenient to you?". The guy who said this was...... wait for it.... wait for it.... A beggar!!! The most sophisticated one I had encountered yet.

The first thing that crossed my mind was "Wow, even our beggers take Kerala's 100% literacy rate rather seriously!". But it saddens me that a lot of our potentially employable crowd is loitering around, unnoticed, whatever be the reason. I spent the remaining way to Daasa's place hoping we wouldn't run into another eloquent begger. 

After reaching home, I suddenly got this idea of going to the terrace of the house. Apart from my decision to spend 2 days at Daasa's, this was the best decision I had taken in the two days I spent there. The view from the terrace was tranquilizing. Although I couldn't see the Nilgiri range of mountains, as I could from my grandpa's home, the view of the horizon was refreshing. Add to that the fact that neither Nayan, ,nor Daasa followed me upstairs, it felt like 20 minutes of meditation. Those few moments felt exactly ripped out of a movie scene. Call me a narcissist, but in my mind, my hair was all stylishly flying and fluttering in the wind, like that of some bad-ass bloke sitting at the edge of a cliff. A bad-ass bloke sitting peacefully on the edge of a cliff, sipping a cup of piping hot coffee might sound like a contradiction, but all of it felt good! 

The rest of the day was bliss!

After all the morning running-around, our run-in with an intellectually superior beggar, a bath,  and amazingly amazing home cooked food, which we stuffed ourselves with, it was time for an outing. Uncle(Daasa's dad) dropped us off at MALAMPUZHA! It's one of the places I used to visit almost every time I visited my grandparents. But this kind of a 'Boys' day out' was a first.

After fooling around with, putting our heads into, and riding a ginormous crocodile made out of rocks, we decided to leave the croc to it's peaceful Tuesday-Morning solitude, as it was a Tuesday morning. Ever since we had arrived in Palakkad, the winds had been particularly strong, and cool. So despite the brightly shining sun overhead, the heat wasn't exactly an issue. After waling all around the Malampuzha garden, we climbed onto the Dam. On one side, there was this beautiful garden, on which, some 300 Crores had been spent for it's beautification, primarily a high-tech fancy 'looking' entry to the garden. That was all there was to the beautification. On the other side of the dam, there was this vast expanse of water, namely the Malampuzha river. For the sake of GK, it is a tributary of the Bharata Puzha(River).

The view from the top of the dam was 'damn' good. With kites playing in the wind all around above us, trying to reach higher by riding on thermal drafts or trying to stay still in the air against the strong winds, it was all worth capturing on camera, that is, in case one had a good camera. Again, in case......

The dam was also 'damn' long!. A lot longer than I had expected it to be. You see, when you're with your family, your mobility is pretty much restricted to your family's movements. Out of somewhere, a cranky kid starts crying because his hat/pants flew away, the girl wants to fix her hair as they too are flying in the strong wind, one more uncle says that walking in the wind feels like resistance training, someone else is having some other random problem, and the list goes on..... and on! When it's three fellows with raging hormones, even if one of them has a bit too much of 'surface area', it doesn't really slow a gang of three.

The three of us walked, sprinted and climbed our way all around the dam. The long straights on the dam caused a very strong urge to sprint the entire length of the dam, and I had no intentions to quell my urges. Running against the wind was like running through a cake. It gave a new meaning to the phrase 'it was a cake-walk'. Okay, sorry, it was a cake-run. Thankfully, Nayan too was quite excited with the prospects of running through cakes. So, the two of us got into our elements and got going! Daasa didn't exactly share our enthusiasm for cake-running. He was more busy eating the cake, I guess.

Nevertheless, we got to on of the 'far ends' of the dam, just to discover that we were about half way through it's whole length, as far away, we could see the dam extending farther away. So we were like "Let's chuck it, we'd rather get back and watch a beautiful King Cobra." 

Next stop, the Snake park. Daasa is fond of snakes. But Aunty(His mom) isn't. And hence, he seldom gets to go to the snake park. And that's exactly where we stepped in. For Company.....

From what I had heard about the snake park from Daasa in his earlier mentions of it, in my imagination, the place was this wild forest with a glass tube cutting right through it, for the protection of visitors, and snakes wreathing, wiggling, twirling and turning all around, outside the tunnel, of course. And what the place turned out to be, although only from the looks of it, was a children's park with a few chambers and glass boxes thrown in. Again, that was from the looks of it, and Looks... Are Deceptive! For instance, as much as the guy looks like Tom Criuse in the mirror, everyone knows the truth. 

Coming back to dangerous creatures in the park, they were all around! I was just hoping that another one wouldn't come out from someone's pants!! Okkay! Sorry!! Bad JOKE!!

But the park fellows had a joke ready for us. At the entrance of the park, there was this wall describing all about snakes, their names, their usual prey, their typical habitat, and stuff. There was this one rat-eating snake, who's name I cannot recollect. Apparently, the snake typically lived in people's houses.... So where did the people live?

Soon, we were all tired of all the jokes we cracked, and decided it was time to head home. So that's what we did. Back at home, we watched the James Bond's 'Thunderball', the movie that virtually added the jet-pack into our imagination. I slept during the movie.

At around 5 in the evening, it was time to get out again! We basically moved out to check out some second-hand books. On our way, Nayan found his love. It'd been a while since he had started his search for something with lots of chocolate in it. And here we were, standing outside a shop selling 'Dark Chocolate Mousse'. All three of us have a penchant for dark chocolate and coffee. As a matter of fact, we barely escaped getting into an argument with Uncle(Daasa's dad) about how coffee is not good for the body.

After that, I specifically insisted on heading straight for the book store, as I am STINGY AS HELL!!! Specially when I realize that I will soon run out of cash.

At the bookstore, I ran into this cult novel 'Zen and the art of Motorcycle Maintenance'. I didn't want another thing! Thankfully, the book store had a second copy of the book, which kept Daasa and me from getting into a wrestling match over the book. Getting out of the bookstall, I felt like a 5 year-old girl who had just gotten hold of her favorite Pink dressed/haired Barbie doll. I actually held onto the book, refusing to put it into the carry-bag that Nayan was holding. But at on point not much later, I got a feeling that I was being a bit too touchy with the book. So I popped the book into Nayan's bag.

We headed to Daasa's grandmom's place. There, more eating followed.One thing happened here. While we were leaving, Nayan did the most atrocious thing he ever could have. He went and touched Daasa's grandmom's feet to show off the  cultural values his parents instilled in him!!! It was one of those "That Moment When....." moments, which have gained popularity on Facebook. I am particularly not fond of this 'touchy-feet' custom, and had no intention to touch Daasa's grandmom's feet. And so, I didn't. I feel a bit uncultured, but not that comes in the way of my peaceful existence. Then we headed back to Daasa's home. That episode was still further followed by more eating. At the end of the day, I felt like a stuffed chicken! Then it was another night's sleep, as the next day, we were headed back to college.

In the morning, after a good breakfast from Aunty, we got ready. I was opening the gates of the house for Uncle to get his car out, when I suddenly had this strong sense that Nayan would go and touch Aunty's feet! I just turned around to go and tell him not to do so, and there the bugger was, doing exactly what I was going to plead against... Arsehole!

I walked up to Aunty. I am not exactly the 'huggy' types. I somehow managed to give her a hug. I wish I had given her a more tighter, warmer hug. In the car, while on our way to the station, I felt as if I had just lost that one rare chance to hug my mom tight, whom I usually never hug on my way out of my home, out of my shyness. It's kind of a strange feeling. The last three days couldn't be summed up in better words than those of Nayan's. "It is now that I feel I am leaving home after vacations"......

Research says.....

 We are in the age of information. With the number of ongoing researches and the results of even more researches surfacing each day, it isn't that common to find two studies with contradictory results surfacing in a very short span of each other. Now, there are too many examples to cite, but let us zero down on a recent one...

"Why you should choose a pint over a coffee: Caffeine can shorten life expectancy - but alcohol lengthens it."

This one has been doing a rounds in the newspapers and, quite inevitably, on the Internet.

Firstly, the whole concept of conducting an experiment with a bunch of parameters governing/controlling some phenomenon is itself awe-striking, if there is such a word called 'awe-striking' in the first place. For instance, there's this Behavioral Economics professor called Dan Ariely. This bloke went around Pittsburgh, conducting a study with the students from 2 prominent universities, namely Carnegie Melon and University of Pittsburgh. The study was to test conditions under which students were most likely to cheat in a test.

During the tests, student from both the universities were made to sit together in a class. They were provided with all the conditions conducive for cheating in the test, assuming for the sake of understanding that they had the answer-key to all the questions. The study revolved around finding the honesty in the students from each of the two colleges.

During the experiment, the students wore the sweatshirt of the college they belonged to.

The instructions for the test were as follows..

There were 20 questions

If the students finished all 20, they were to get up and out of the class,throw away the answer sheet and go to the invigilator to declare the number of questions they answered.

They would be payed a fixed amount of money for every question they declared they answered, correctness of the answer being immaterial. 

Plain and simple. Or so it sounded.

There was obviously a hitch. The questions were hard enough for anyone to finish in the provided time. But the researcher had a way around it. He had an impostor-student planted amidst the others. He too wore a Jersey of either one or the other college each time the study was conducted with different batches of students of the two colleges mentioned above. This student would be made to stand up in the middle of the test to declare he had completed the test.

It turned out that the amount of cheating among the students was directly linked with the university jersey the impostor-student wore. For instance, if the impostor wore the Jersey of Carnegie Mellon, Carnegie Mellon students ended up cheating more than the students from Pittsburgh University. On the other hand, if the impostor wore the Pittsburgh University, the Carnegie Mellon University students cheated far less than they would otherwise. And the results were rather obviously similar when analyzed for students of Pittsburgh University. The whole scene's got a lot to do with behavior of members of a group. Okay, end of story! Lights out! Pack up! Easy? 

Wow! It is bizarrely amazing how many things there are around to find and figure, even more so are  the minds conjuring up the conditions to put random theories to test.

 Now, coming back to the Coffee-Alcohol-Life Span study that surfaced recently. Dig just a bit deeper into the working of this study, and try as much as one may to avoid technical terms, encountering the word 'Telomere' is inevitable. The study states that consumption of alcohol causes lengthening of the telomere , (which is supposed to increase one's life span)and consumption of coffee causes shortening of the telomere (which is supposed to decrease one's life span.) So now, everyone will want to go around chugging beer, right? Pretty surely, few may have already started.

Now, onto telomeres, down to common man's jargon. We know cells divide. And if the multiply/divide/replicate like crazy, they turn into cancer/tumor cells. Let's not get too mathematical about the previous sentence. Consider this. There's a book, say of 150 pages. This is obviously a special book! Each time the book is read, one page from the end shreds itself completely. So if the book is passed around 50 times, the 50th reader gets to read only 2/3s of the book. To avoid this problem, the publisher slaps on 50 blank pages to the end of the book, so that at least 50 people get to read the complete story. Besides, which book lasts 50 readers?!

So now, every on, or at least 50 fellows get to read the book in it's entirety. Something very similar goes on in our body. Each time a cell in our body divides, the DNA is copied to produce 2 sets of DNA in the cell before dividing, to give each cell its own DNA after getting divided. There is a chain attached to the end of the DNA. This chain has a limited number of links. Each time the DNA divides in a cell, one of the links on the chain is taken off from it's end. So the cell can replicate/divide only as many times as many there are these links on the chain. By the way, this chain is the TELOMERE. That's all there is to it.

Theoretically, and even really speaking, the longer the telomere, the more times the cell can divide. And, the more number of times the cell can divide, the longer the organism can survive, which is exactly what the 'Coffee-Alcohol' research points out. We hence will technically live longer if we consume alcohol, obvously in moderation, instead of coffee.

In a way, the study may give an extreme impression that "Coffee-consumption shortens life". But extending the second half of the study's outcome to the extremes, it may also suggest that Alcohol, which a while ago was going to lengthen our life-span, could also turn healthy cells into cancerous/tumorous ones if it manages to increase the length of telomeres  a bit too much. Although that is a bit too far-fetched an idea, as is the one that 'Coffee consumption shortens life', it is important to understand that our natural systems have been designed to deal with and prevent as much as anomalies as possible, given the abuse it is subjected to. So, it is extremely important to understand as much as possible the underlying machinery of things we read about and come across.

As for the continuous onslaught of information, the endless researches and their results, we could just use them as instruments to appreciate the capacity of our minds to leave us 'Awe-struck'.

Prologue

It was a long time ago, as far as I can remember. I must have been about 3 or 4. Not too sure. It's all too hazy. Most of my memory revolves around evening time, for some strange reason.

The skies would be turning and toiling in shades of orange. There was this long by-lane, at the end of which I waited, sometimes for what felt like hours. From where I saw, a long road lay in front of me. Just that between me and the road, there was this gate. The gate had these vertical bars on it, enough for a cat to get through. Enough to see through to the other side, but not to cross over. There were others like me, but they were either inside, or they were probably long gone, I don't remember which one. 

I stood at the gate, holding onto it's bars, with two of those bars pressing onto my face. In hindsight, I looked like a perfect prisoner, rather like a caged bird, hoping for someone to get me out. 

Then from the corner of my sight, I could see someone turning into the by-lane. It was a lady. She carried bags both her hands. And before anything, I knew there were oranges in the bags. And she knew it that I knew what was in the bags. I love oranges. She smiled on each evening that I remember. And I can't describe my elation on seeing her, for each of those evenings I remember. I could finally stop looking like a prisoner, open the latch on the bloody gate, throw it wide open, and run to her. For my savior had come. "Mom!!".And I was free again, till the next day that is.....

Banned!

"A PIL(Public Interest Litigation) was filed on Monday in the Allahabad High Court seeking a ban on the showcasing of Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s film ‘Ram Leela’ on grounds that it “deliberately and maliciously insults and outrages the religious sentiments of Hindus."-The Hindu

A line so straight out of a news article shouldn't have been blatantly used, but the emotions it evoked, were hard to keep aside. 

By the way, this whole concept of banning really sucks. Are we all contestants of Big Brother/Boss? "Why does it suck?", we ask. What are we? Sheep? A bunch of fellows go and decide for themselves that something is not good for a community, specially by evoking ones dearness to religion. What an old trick! The lines of the article, which sounded rather fanatic in their outlook, specially this one, "The film's posters show half-nude characters in a rather offensive and compromising situations and use the tag ‘Goliyon ki Raas Leela’ to define itself. The official trailer of the film shows abusive language and intimate scenes which are far away from the religious connotations of this word, which insults and offends the religious sentiments of Hindus.” It almost sounds like the person has never seen anyone nude in life, or feels the necessity to purge him/herself each time he/she does.

Yeah! "Intimate scenes", "Compromising situations", What??? The fellow who bothered to file the PIL would have thought that blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. Surely! All Hindus will have a problem watching this movie. Again, let's repeat! ALL HINDUS!! Hilarious! And delirious too. So, what do we go ahead and do? Everything in our might to prevent everyone from seeing what is there on offer, as it offends someone's sense of self righteousness, mistaken or not. Everyone wants to be the thunderous voice in the house! Just that no one wants to say things aloud. Instead of saying 'Sexually evocative poses', they say "Compromising situations", because? Because anything remotely sounding like 'SEX' is to be muted in public. Pretty surely, folks with such mentality would blush a bit too often, even in their Mathematics class, to the extent that they have troubles reading every equation containing the word Sec²β! 

How conveniently, banning something, be it a work of art, or be it anything, in the apparent public interest, can really fiddle with the concept of free will. But, no! One has to ensure that he strikes upon 'we' with great vengeance and furious anger, those who have obviously hatched a plot to poison his brethren. 

It is sad to see so many works go unappreciated for the sole reason that they put us a bit outside the comfort zone of our mental confines. Even sadder is the fact that the list of such works isn't short by any means. 
Where are the worshipers of free-will? We've already lost a lot of good work to the 'banners'. How much more?

To give an idea of what the status quo has been so far, here's a list of things that were lost to us, thankfully not anymore....

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_banned_films

And then there are books, of course

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_books_banned_by_governments

Case of the Taken Photo

Scenes that really excite us, like REALLY EXCITE US,  are a rare find. Be it movies, be it real life. Okay, maybe that's not true for movies. Nevertheless, here's a story. Let's just start at that.

The scene begins in a garden, actually at its entrance. It was a big garden. A very well maintained one. It didn't have a sand-pit with all the slides, swings and see-saws for kids, which saved the garden from the noise and carnage, that a bunch of innocent little torrents were capable of creating. It was almost an 'A' certified garden, quiet, serene, and virtually motionless, except for a few huffing-puffing and panting aunti-type creatures.   But that wasn't the only kind of motion you could find. The place was also a place for working out facial muscles. It's just that you don't grow biceps on your face at the end of the session. A bit on that, a bit later.

There were also a lot of bushes around. Bushes make a lot of things convenient, specially when they cocoon a bench capable of seating two. And it wasn't too hard to find such bush-cocooned benches-capable-of-seating-two.

On one such bench, there were two, seated comfortably. Actually, a bit too comfortably. WAIT! It looked like these two folks had read this piece of information on some  'The *****Times' website that kissing burns 120 calories per hour.Hmm.. So they were trying to lose weight.

Almost forgot! The garden was famous for it's weight loss stories! Many of those fellows who testify on TV that some XYZ pill helped them lose weight, all were found to be regular visitors of this garden. Just kidding.

So, these folks on the bench were doing their thing, kissing, then murmuring something neither one of them understood, then kissing again, then murmuring, and so on. If what they did were a computer program, it would have been a recursive loop! Little did they know that a bunch of teenagers were getting all excited watching these two,quite literally jumping in their places out of excitement. What innocent faces! And how happy they looked! That is, the bunch of teenagers, not the kissy-folks. Kissy folks never look innocent. They sometimes look like cannibals! Okay, not these two. The girl looked fine. The guy, as usual, looked the kind that every time he was seen with the girl, people thought "Goodness! How can this guy have a girlfriend?? Huh?".

Everything was going fine. It had been going on fine for a bit too long. They had easily hit their weight-loss target for the week, probably. Meanwhile, on the other side of the bushes, one fellow, let's call him the Lone.Wolf, decided to part from his pack, as he spotted a better position for stalking his....preys. He occupies this so-called better place and enjoys the 'better view'. Good for him.

And a bit more time goes by. And a bit more. And Mr. Lone.Wolf decided that he'd had enough. He's bored of watching. So....now here's the important part....

Mr. Lone.Wolf was gutsy. He was kind-of odd, but he was really gutsy, the kind who'd ask your girlfriend out in front of you.....and probably get beaten up....

This fellow goes and stands in front of the bench-seated couple and starts off....

"Hey! Dude, I know that girl is the Principal's daughter! And you have had enough! Even I want to kiss her! You see? I have already taken photos of the two of you getting all cozy and snoggy! Let me kiss the lady, and I shall hand over my cell-phone to you. Promise!"

Mr. Lone Wolf even followed his epic line with a smile. And he continued.

"Else, the photo goes into the Principal's mailbox!!"

You see, after the NSA robbing everyone of their so called privacy, now this. The guy(Mr. Boyfriend) must have felt devastated! Given the situation, in some alternate reality, he could have done a dozen intelligent things to get himself out of his dilemma, but in this dimension, he turned out to be a bum. He almost let go of the girl, almost suggesting that he had no qualms with Mr. Lone.Wolf kissing his lady, just to ensure that he got Wolf's camera phone, in which lay his salvation. His lady, seeing the lack of a spine in her man's, now ex-man's spine, left the scene.

Mr. Boyfriend got hold of Wolf's phone, searched its memory inside out for the supposedly taken photo..... Wait for it... Wait for it.................................

Nothing!! No photo! Now, he could even hear the giggles coming from the bushes behind him, from our jumping-on-the-spot monkey gang. Had he looked in the mirror, he'd have definitely seen something like this...

  Outside the garden's entrance, Mr. Lone.Wolf and the Girlfriend met again. At first, the girl looked angry at Wolf, as though the whole performance had gone awry. Then she smiled. Wolf gave out a sigh of relief. Then the girl spoke... "Here's your new cell-phone, as promised."

Goodness! What all one needs to do to show that someone's got to grow some balls!

If......

It's been a while since I hit the proverbial wall. Hitting the wall is a condition, usually used by marathon runners, when they can't move any further in the race. This is usually caused due to complete depletion of carbohydrates in the body, basically no more energy left.
At such times, even a stray word, not necessarily any stray word, could spark your imagination, specifically if you are looking for motivation to continue with your pursuit of becoming better at writing. Guess what? I came across an entire sentence. Here goes.
"If you could accomplish anything with your life, what would you do?"
I came across this line in the very beginning of a book called 40 Chances. That italicized line is a question posed by Warren Buffet to his son as a challenge.
Wow! Think of the question. Specially the first half of it. "If you could accomplish anything in your life". Firstly, if we observe carefully enough, that line is the truest thing that can be said about life, specially if we remove the 'IF' out of it. Secondly, anyone who has realized the truth in that line, surely is a fortunate person, as I am. And lastly, for some reason, each time that question repeats itself in my head, it seems to be Will Smith asking me the same question in his 'Pursuit of Happyness' outfit.
What would you do? Or, ask yourself this question while standing in front of the mirror.
Pretty surely, this question isn't just a challenging question for Mr. Buffet's son alone. Goodness! How do these really crazy people come up with these questions? Is it because they know the answer to such questions? Or is it because they don't? Huh? The latter definitely sounds unlikely after looking at what they have accomplished in their lifetimes, which, needless to say, is nothing less than commendable, although maybe, just maybe, it might not be worth ruling that possibility completely.
A while ago, I came across this list of questions that people are asked during job interviews. All the questions were the "Where do you see yourself after 5 years" type questions. In most cases, the answer that pops into my head is the ubiquitous "I don't know". And it feels pretty crappy.
By the way, how do I know that the person who is asking me these high -flying questions knows the answers to them? That is obviously immaterial as long as I can't answer the questions myself.

That is why we read so much, if at all we do. To 'figure it all out'. In his book on Steve Jobs, Walter Isaacson clearly mentions how Jobs felt restless out of not knowing what to do. Jobs, while addressing the students of Stanford University, back in 2005, said something like he hoped that everything would be fine, when he decided to drop out of college. Of course, when you hear these heavyweights of our world ratifying the 'It's okay to not know' Theory, it obviously sounds a lot more convincing to 'not know'. That's always been the case. Why do we have Sachin Tendulkar instead of our mom/dad/grandpa endorsing the National Egg Coordination Committee with the slogan सन्डे हो या मंडे, रोज़ खाओ अंडे (Be it Sunday or Monday, eat eggs everyday)? Does the line sounds convincing coming from Sachin? Actually, it does. But it is more because if our mom/dad/grandpa happened to try convincing us to eat eggs using the same 'Sunday-Monday' lines, we would be rolling on the floor laughing each time they told us this, which would make them feel embarrassed, and in all probability, that would be the end of their advocacy of the health benefits of consuming eggs. So that's pretty much about eggs.
Coming back to the big question, rather the answer to the big question, If I could(and Can... So can anyone) accomplish anything I wanted, which is still something I couldn't figure out in the 45 minutes that the question has nagged me, If I would want to accomplish one thing of all, it would be never regretting trying something. Yes, surely that will take a lifetime to accomplish, but the, I hope everything will be fine.
How about you?

I got a brand new girlfriend.

Yeah! Can you believe it? She said 'Yes'. It all happened in a blur. It still seems like a blur. From somewhere, I got the courage to muster up my courage to approach her. Even in my imagination, I would have found that hard to do, but I did. Somehow. Classes got over for the day. Fortunately, as I was getting out of my class, I just saw her come out of hers.

I walked towards her, thinking each moment “Shit! Shit! What the hell am I doing?”. For some odd reason, she looked in my direction. I bloody well froze! There was only one line blaring inside my head that sounded like “Man! You are so done!”. I was weak in my knees. I was weak in every joint, muscle and cell of my body.

Somehow, I stepped forward, noticing that she'd noticed me approaching. I had a feeling that she was thinking something like “Not this bloke. Not now! Please!”. Never mind, I just rolled up my sleeves, lifted my collar, in my imagination of course, and somehow dared to take a few more steps forward. And then I blurted out something.

Whatever I blurted out, must have been something pretty awesome and mind blowing, because the next scene I remember in the sequence of events that followed, is where she smiles at me and says 'Yes'.

I guess I asked her if she thought that I was an ass. Well, that's a reasonable explanation for her agreement. But if I correctly remember, the next thing I asked her was if she'd mind accompanying me for a cup of coffee

She said 'No'. As in, No, she didn't mind doing so. If I'd had a mirror in my hand at that time, I swear, I'd never look at my face. I would have been wearing that ugly smile that I have at times when I can't limit the size of my smile within the constrains of my face.

Now, I was Daredevil! I asked her if she trusted me. Sometimes, there are these moments when you become invincible, or at least inside your head, your t-shirt seems to bulge from all the right places, there suddenly appears a sigh of hope in the shape of a diamond on your chest, preferably red in color, the sigh that looks like an 'S' to ordinary humans, and you get the feeling that if you jump hard enough, you are ready to fly. That's how I felt when I asked her if she trusted me. She uttered a shy 'Yes'.

Man! I was flying. Dhan Te Dan! I'm SUPEMAN!

Suddenly, all my memory gets scrambled, and all of a sudden, I am sitting in this quaint little café with her. I'll tell you what the place looked like. That's the one thing, probably the only thing I find myself capable of describing. The walls were warm-red. The ceiling was a dark gradient of yellow, the kind you'd like on a Lamborghini. There was a balcony to the right of our table. There was a sliding glass door separating the insides of this caféfrom all the dust and grime coming through the balcony from the main road outside. A mat made of straw and cane just hung beyond the glass doors to break the sun's rays. The walls were covered with all sort of enlarged retro-type photos. It all lent a very easy air to the place. The only cocky part of the café was it's name... 'Chill out Café'.

It was quiet. Very cozy. It was the kind of place that was hidden in plain sight, and intentionally left so. I don't remember much except for the warm coffee going down my throat and the even warmer silence between the two of us. It kind of made the cozy feeling a bit overwhelming.

I wanted to ensure that she trusted me, because such places seem a bit secluded. I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable.

The only thing I remember next is these three noisy blokes who entered the café. They bloody well destroyed the sanctity of that quiet little haven. The shortest one among the three was like a bloody noisy tyrant! The three folks looked like kids from the nearby college.

I remembered how I had quite recently come to this place myself, accompanied by two of my friends, one of who, recommended it highly. All of a sudden, the noise coming from those three fellows started to rise. It looked as if their voices were being controlled by a volume dial, and someone was obviously turning that dial rightward. The noise was continuously rising.

I couldn't understand what was happening. I noticed that she was saying something to me. I wasn't able to figure out what it was that she was saying, although. Somehow, the rising noise wasn't getting to her. Or could she not hear it? I was starting to get a headache. For some reason, the now shrilling noise sounded all too familiar.

I felt my hand subconciously searching for my cell phone. No, I wasn't getting a call. I had learned from too many articles that it is wise to switch off all sources of disturbances, being the mobile phone, when you happen to have the rare opportunity to be with your lady-luck. So, the wise one that I am, I had taken that precaution, early on.

As for the sound, it was getting shriller by the moment. Somehow, I managed to stop that cacophonic alarm. I squinted at the screen of my cell phone to check the time. 3:30 in the morning? What the hell?

Bollocks!!I have that shitty review article to finish! Shit! Shit! Shit! This sad life of mine! I can't even be happy in my dreams!

And if I don't finish that article by 9:00 today.....Oh! I even have that other assignment! Brilliant!

Long ago

It began about 7-8 years ago, some time towards the end of 9th grade. There came a wave of hypes, promises, expectations, worries and of course, nerds. The upcoming year was 'The year of the BOARD'. The way general public talked, it looked like whole of the student community was going to be squashed under some gigantic heavy board, something more like a slab of rock, than a board.

Teachers said, "Study hard! Forget playing and all. It won't be any use at the time when you go for a job. Your score in your Board exams will decide your future!!". It sounded like apocalypse.

So, we studied hard. Or at least, we stayed up late into the nights, rote-learned proofs that were 'Important questions', did everything to foolproof our strategy to fool the fellows setting papers by any and every means at hand. It all got over. The future was there. And nothing happened! That is, except for the summer vacation. Few minor glitches, here and there, and Enter grade 11. All came in, riding on high waves from our performances in grade 10, knowing little that the wave, although high, was heading straight for dry land!This was one year where education itself took a sabbatical from our lives. Thankfully, knowledge changed it's mind about abandoning us for a change. Fast forward one year, it was  'Attack of the Boards 2.O'. This one was again the same old "Let;s see who "has the biggest ****." kind of a situation.  A second 'coming' for the nerds. Again, to be looked at 'an end of life as we know it'.

Then, even that got over.  Now came college for most. For the rest, it was their sabbatical from education! Revenge is sweet. But sweets are costly! Especially the ones made of pure ghee. The vengeful sabbatical costs a year of dear life. Sometimes one may think as to what would have happened "Had I worked harder". But then, there's this word that follows that feeling. The word is called 'BOLLOCKS!!'.

Anyways, eventually, it's college. By the way, all of it is part of the grand scheme that is supposed to decide our brilliant futures, which till now, seems to elude us. But then, there is in sight, a gang of folks, who happen to have jumped onto the other side of the fence, with a sigh on it, saying "Other side of YOUR future". Basically end of college. Then come those junkies who want to continue studies. Good. for them, anyways. By this time, most of us are done with all the cramming. We remember our teachers, professors, parents, and the whole bandwagon telling us about how the stamp of a good school, a good college on your buttocks comes with a promise of a better future. And then, you finally figure out that The World Is Not Enough to live up to a promise of that kind.

There will always be a board behind you, or things that are homophones to 'board'

To will be an education board,

There will be a board...of directors,

Then of course, there will be boredom of directors

Being Arsehole

Arsehole. It is surely one of the most convenient of expletives to use in everyday life. Again, it is 'one of the most'. Not 'THE most' convenient of expletives. There is a reason for being so specific because humanity has successfully built grammar around another word, THE 'F' word!! But since these posts are meant for family viewing/environments, let's not dwell on things of this sort for too long.

Coming back to the word 'arsehole', more so, to it's convenience, let's look at a list of potential candidates who are addressed by this word.

1.Friends,

2.That random driver who overtook you/cut your lane

3.Teachers

4.Some guy

5.Any guy

6.Every guy

7.You

8.I

After this post, #8 will be the #1 in terms of priority. Never mind. We see, that in general, the propensity of being called an arsehole is pretty high per capita, if we could put it that way. Many a times, we get so used to calling someone this way, that we might actually forget their real name. It's pretty common.

A friend of mine and I share this view that everyone is an arsehole. It's like an axiom, a starting point of sorts. I don't think we are exceptions  to this assumption. Look at the title of the post. Anyway, the theory, when put in practice is/will be convincing. See. In case the axiom is wrong, the worst thing possible is that the person in front of you would turn out to not be an arsehole.

And by chance, if one happens to be right, bragging rights are free for the correct ass-umption. So everyone's happy!

Besides, this is one of the few cases where one really gets a shot at revelling in one's glory while saying "I told you so!".

Apart from the funny aspect of 'Being Arsehole', it is kind of a filtering mechanism. This is a new insight. How? If you try not to be nice to everyone, don't smile at each poor soul that crosses your  path, don't try to please people, you are GUARANTEED a tattoo on your forehead that reads 'ARSEHOLE'.

Okay, smiles and niceties not sufficiently strong?Try saying 'NO' strongly to someone. Now you are not GUARANTEED, you are GUARANTEED to be christened an arsehole.

Act in self-interest, You are an arsehole.

Look a certain way, You are an arsehole.

Don't look a certain way, Correct! You are an arsehole.

And so on, and so forth.

So if you know that it's unavoidable, better go with the flow. Only important people, or only genuine people will stay with you at the end of the day. Another benefit is that one feels a lot more happy during self-assessment, that is obviously unless you are the kind who broods and over such trivialities sounding like this...

"Oh, my goodness, I am an arsehole. Now, what should I do?"

The guy even looks the part. Must have got nominated for an Oscar for his role. We all know what the award category was. No?

But there's a BIG problem with the terminology. It discriminates on the basis of gender. Look at it. When is a girl called "Ahem!"? Not fair! Yeah, but there's

another word for the ladies. Forget it. Let some lovely lady take the pains to enlighten us about the troubles of the greener side.

Beyond Central Tendencies

There are people, and then, there are 'THE PEOPLE'. As not-so-different the two might sound, there happens to be an earth of difference between the two clans.
The former conform, they fit in. If there is any discrepancy creeping into their order, they simply iron it out as a fault. It's like how Joker says, "Introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos."
The main motive is to fit every body, mind you, not everybody, into the same mold/die. So whatever comes out, if anything meaningful comes out, looks like a product off an assembly line.
Without a doubt, these words, or at least words conveying the same meaning have been used a thousand time, more so recently. But pretty surely, plagiarism is one of my last concerns for now.
What is a bit more disturbing is that if, let us for example, take rubble as an analogy to humans. It is a bit awkward, but let us stick to " for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return", just to make the comparison of man to rubble a bit more digestible.
So, if we plan to separate dust on the basis of it's size, we use sieves with different sizes of holes on each sieve. Then we stack the sieves, one on top of the other, in decreasing order of sieve size, put all the rubble onto the stack of sieves, give it all a good shake, not a stir. And Voila! We have all the rubble sorted as per their size. All fine, all good. Until someone tries to push big chunks of rubble through the sieve meant for small sized rubble.
Surprise! Surprise! It won't go through. So what's the next step?
Let's force things through anyways.

The problem with normalcy is that we see everything through black-and-white cameras. The colors just get filtered. The point here? The point is that many times, we miss the point.
Okay. So, there is this guy X. X can't do something all the Ys' and Zs' can do. So let's tattoo X's forehead with the word 'FAILURE'. Convenient. Isn't it?

How easily, we put qualities that we are unable to see at face value, into the list for qualities that aren't supposed to matter.
Maybe the tone here is a bit too cynical, but the way we go, in general, pushing the big rocks through the small sieve will  not solve anything. It surely hasn't so far. It certainly won't, not because it hasn't earlier, but because we are attacking the wrong problem.
The upside to the whole situation is that the more we try to push the big rock through th small sieve, the more is the chance that we'll end up seeing the sieve falling apart.

Squeezing it out

It was about 6:50 am when a friend came asking my room-mate to join him for a run. It had been a while that I'd been up. So I decided to join these two folks for a morning sweat-session.
My room-mate had been itching to take his new scooter, that he'd got from his brother, out for a little 'test ride'. So we were off.
Very usual morning, very bright, perfect lighting. It never makes you want to stop.
We reached the ground. The grass had fresh dew on it, sparkling in the morning sun. Our rounds began. One round, the second, the third.. Yeah, I know that the fourth won't come before the third, but then anyways.

There's something about going round and round that makes things very...mundane. Specially on flat tracks. It ain't a means to an end, besides, it doesn't have an end. Sure, there's a beginning point and you encounter that point a dozen-or-so times before you start wondering what on earth are you doing, going round and round. In Hindi, the word for this feeling is घनचक्क (Pronounced as Ghanchakkar). And I don't like that word particularly.

I like hilly terrain. All the ups and downs, the badly laid roads, they go a long way in making the whole sweating job more exciting. Either that, or a straight road, pointing at the horizon, not giving you a clue as to where you are going. Something like this,

But by the way, doing 'rounds' is no easy thing. It is indeed very difficult to motivate yourself, and keep yourself motivated while doing something boring.
So, by the time we finished covered the ground 4 times, I was done doing 'rounds'.
And I didn't want to sap the other two of their motivation. So I left the place for another trail which is a hilly type of a trail. I go there often, when I feel bored. It's got a few really dirty climbs that really kill you. It all went fine, just that for some reason, I felt very slow.
Sometimes, there are things that occupy your thoughts without you knowing what they are, but they don't fail in making you feel heavy nevertheless.. Probably there were too many things that were gushing in all-at-a-time while I was at my ground pounding. So taking a break from civilization looked like a good call. Enter 'The Trail', the same place I mentioned, where I go when I get really bored. It's a typical hilly countryside place. Unlike the usual, where if you are running, there will be people staring at you like you are a bloody alien. On the other hand, this trail of mine, it doesn't make you feel like you are on Mars, just allows you to breathe some fresh air.
The 'Agenda for the day' was to not stop, no matter what, till I had gone the distance I had in mind, specially after understanding that legs weren't going to move any faster. At least that was one thing I was happy about, for having stuck to.
I came back to my room, got rid of my socks. Goodness,  they could kill a man! The stench! Now, comes the good part. I went to the washroom, pulled my shirt off, and did something I had been wanting to do for a while. I wrung my shirt, squeezing out as much of my sweat out of my shirt as possible. Wow! It looked like a freaking waterfall! I wanted to do this, specially after watching this movie called 'Bhaag Milkha Bhaag', where the lead fellow, did something similar to fill up buckets with his sweat. There was this voice inside my head, almost in a taunting tone, saying "Yeah, man! You'r getting there!!"
It felt good though. 

Good

There's a lot of rant on what we need,
Listen carefully, pay some heed.
It's good to feel sad, so we can appreciate happiness,
And so it is to feel agitated, to enjoy inner peace.
It's nice to read a line over and over again,
To enjoy the 'Ahha!' moment after you're through with it.
It may not be easy to know where you lack,
At least, you have a head start with what needs to be done.
It's good to be nagged for something by somebody,
It keeps a track of your commitments.
If no one's criticizing, you're definitely on the wrong track.
It feels good to remember your father scold you,
Although, only after you realize, he did so for your own good.
It's good to hurt your close ones.
It makes you value them more after you're done.
It's good to realize that you can go no further,
And still carry on.
It's good for someone to tell you that it's impossible.
You have a new cause to tell them that it isn't.
It feels good to be perverse.
Even better is if you are assured to stay that you'll stay that way to your grave.
It's good to be an out-lier, if you can, in your own way,
No reason for this one though.
It's good to take the wrong side.
You always get the bigger picture.
It's good to have someone ahead,
It makes you want to do better.
It's good to have someone closing in from behind,
It makes you want to hold out that wee-bit longer.
It's good to disagree.
So, let's agree to disagree.
It's good to be selfish.
It is always better to not regret for compromising yourself.
It's good to feel an empty wallet.
It teaches you the value of desperation and hard earned money.
It's good to stand outnumbered.
You feel stronger.
Peace isn't good.
It makes you weak.
Fighting is good.
It tells you exactly how strong your ties are.
Losing is good.
It makes you want to win.
Jealousy in good.
The struggle to go uphill,
is necessary to feel the tantalizing taste of going downhill.
Ram is good, So is Ravana.
So as black, as is white.
Why did all this come up?
I was having my lunch today. A few friends and I were discussing festivals. I for one, don't have a good idea about the dates for every festival by-heart. I'm just happy to get a holiday as and when these days come by. Now, who doesn't enjoy a holiday?
Suddenly, Diwali came up in our talks. And one of us chanted that cliched line "Diwali is the celebration of the victory of good over evil.". Yeah?? Seriously? I frankly got pissed-off. How can we be so definitely sure of the 'good' and 'evil' part? I mean, how did anyone benefit from that fight? Was there loss on only one side?
As it is, from what appears to be the very beginning of mankind, we have been living with biases. Right is the 'Dexter', left isn't, because we wash our backsides with the left hand, that is, in most cases. So the rule doesn't apply for those who use their right hand to wash their backs?
As Michael Jackson sang, "It doesn't matter if you're black or white".

It worked.

This is one instance where the phrase "Trust me!" is going to sound obsolete at the end of this page.

The whole sequence of things may sound a bit inconvenient for a morning routine, but the feeling at the end of it is worth the effort.

Just to top off the cake's icing with a little red cherry, a little morning sweat would go a long way.

After all the sweaty part, if anyone bothers to go through that part anyway, just find a place where there's a lot of sunlight, the morning-8 o'clock type sunlight. Stand under the beacon of sunlight. Close your eyes, and just feel your heartbeat. Let the sunlight wash you. Rather, feel yourself drown in it. Don't think a lot. If the heavy-sweating part of the routine has been taken care of, you probably wouldn't want to think about anything at this point.If luck favors, you might just get goosebumps. Feel the mellow heat on your eye lids. That reddish glow... The warmth. 

There's just one inherent trouble with this. You don't want to get out of it! But beyond a point, you'll not have a problem letting go of the feeling, not because it is getting hot, or anything. The experience will stay with you, long after you've left the scene. Its like a good piece of fine dark chocolate. I have to thank a lot of things to have been fortunate enough to get a taste of something as divine as that, besides having the tongue capable enough to appreciate it.  

Open your eyes. For a second, everything will have a grey-ish-blue tinge to it. THAT is one thing that makes the whole thing so completely worth doing every morning. 

Rise and shine!
Again, I'll say it just for the heck of it. TRUST ME! It works.

Wolo molo wonder!

Yupp!! Today's a rare one. For a change, things haven't, proverbially so called, HIT THE SPOT, but, today, looks like the spot just increased it's radius.

Usually, this is how things start.

I am being chased by the hound of Baskervilles. I am running as hard as I can to keep my backside from falling into the hound's mouth. Then, there's this guy somewhere behind, on a horseback, whirling his lasso, aiming for my head. I don't know the scene exactly behind me. I guess I am drunk at this point. I can hear a whirling sound...which in my mind is the lasso. I hear this panting sound, accompanied by ferocious grunts..which in my imagination, should be the bloody hound. And, if I am not mistaken, I hear the taps of the horse's hoof. Mind you, that's the only sound, that of the hoof, that sounds pleasant... It sounds athletic. The remaining sounds remind you of some sort of frantic desperation.... Even your own breath. Oh! I almost forgot. A nuclear explosion is happening in my chest, each time my heart is beating.

All of a sudden, I just feel this 'thing' falling in front of my eye. It feels like a blink. But I didn't blink! The next thing I feel is a hard tug around my neck. For a second, I see the entire chain of events that is about to follow any moment. THEN...I feel the jerk around my neck.

I throw my hands in front to escape whatever it is behind me. I sit propped up on my bed, eyes wide open, heartbeat shooting through the roof, and my hands straight ahead of me, like a zombie.

I look around. Two of my room mates are staring at me. Apparently, I made a loud noise, while in the process of getting into my 'sitting-zombie' position.

That is how it usually begins..Exaggerations aside, obviously.

The start today wasn't different.

Okay. I look out of the window. Ah! Bright and shiny! For some reason, the phrase 'rise and shine' appears on this red neon sign inside my head. The blinking type neon sign. It looks more like an emergency SOS call.

A standard thought haunts me again. "Oh my goodness!! There's so much to do in life! And the day passes away like the wind! How will I do all that I want, and must?"Mom and dad must be thinking, Oh, what must our son be doing? He's just got another year-and-a-half of merrymaking in college! How, rather what will the fellow do after that?". I forcibly chuck the thoughts aside.

I performed all the morning rituals to purge myself. Then I headed out. Again, it was nice and shiny. There's something about the morning sun, no matter how hard hitting it is, that makes you feel very cozy in your clothes. I wash my hands in the sun's light. I felt this warmth on my palms...this slow heat. I could stand there literally the whole day. I almost ended up doing something like that.

I got late for the class in the process. Nothing special for the next two hours, except for the fact that I was able to grasp what was being explained. My friend, Jenifer was doing the explaining the whole thing. It was good.. I don't know why I am saying what I am about to say, but she's a good person to have for a friend, this girl Jenifer.

Lunch time! Yaaay!!! It's a Friday! Chicken!!!!! Yeah, so that's over. Then what? Oh ya, then the day's main attraction! First steps into forming a club in the college! TEDxNITCalicut's the name. Now there's something exciting! It seems like a dream taking shape. Another club, the Music Club,  I wanted to be inside, looks like an elusive dream. Chuck it... Not exactly. Any ways, moving on.

There's something about about waiting for people to turn up, that is extremely irritating. You feel a complete loss of control over your life! Specially f you are waiting for some permission of sorts.

You see, there's a permission for everything. Permission for running, for not running, for standing still, going to take a leak (remember class 4, 5, 6 or 7? Or for that matter, even now?). Thankfully, I was along with my mate, Nayan. He's like the stable(mentally) one among the two of us.

It ass sounds pretty vague. The whole thing. I mean, everything sounds so abstract. Looks as though someone gave bottles of colored water into a kid's hand and left him to his/her devices. Obviously, the kid knew how to open the bottles.

So, now it's back to the room. It's about 3. Middle of the day. Some looking into books was in order.  That was that. Then, the Phantom of the Opera looked short enough to finish in 15 minutes.

Poor guy, the Phantom. All he wanted was a lady to love him and be his wife. A lady did start to love him. Okay, she didn't exactly fall for his yellow face with black holes for eyes. But she somehow loved him and agreed to love him, and wed him(Wow! Now, I guess anybody stands a chance!!).. Sounds like a contract. Nice. I mean, for the Phantom. So what does he do, after the lady agrees to wed him? He leaves her to the guy she loves. And suicides. Arsehole! So the whole thing was an experiment.

Aim:To figure out if a lady could love the Phantom.

 Procedure:

1-Get hold of a girl who wants to sing.

2-Make her famous.

3-As she'll feel indebted to you for your deeds, she wants to repay you.

4-So you tell the lady to show you some love, despite the fact that you are hell-as ugly!(Oh! Did I mention, that a prerequisite for the experiment is that you need to be ugly as hell??)

5- If the girl disagrees, catch the guy, the girl likes, and threaten to kill him.

6-If the girl still disagrees,

6.a) Bad for the guy you caught

6.b) You may just have caught the wrong guy, so again, Bad for the guy you caught.

6.c) If the girl agrees, leave the girl and the guy to do their thing. Tell her it was a joke. Firstly, she'll kill you. But who gives a shit anyway? You already had plans to suicide after the guy and girl left the stage.

Sad shit!

A message to the Phantom: Dude, did you have the brains stuck up the wrong place??? Huh?

I look through another course book. Head out for a run. Come back , having happily hit my target, in spite of a 3 day bout of laziness. Then I sit down to gather my day onto a page. And Woalah! I just got over with about 1100 words! Phew! Must have been a long day! At least I am thankful that a few more hours remain.

And I got this new ear worm today. Ghulmil-Ghulmil Launda!!

Gone perfectly wrong!

We are all in the search of perfection. The perfect job, the perfect partner, roommate, car, bike and in short, life. There are although, very tricky forces on the playing field. And they are all overweight. And hence the phrase 'level grounds' go right down the commode. Okay, let me stop crying in the first place, about how unfair things are, or can be.

It was a perfect day until it began. As usual, by the time anything began, it was 5 in the evening. So thumbs up to that. There are days when you think that things are all fine, and then PLONK!! Gone! POOF!

So it all starts with running around. Let me talk like an Englishman for a change by talking about the weather. It wasn't the brightest. I mean, It wasn't as bright as it was 15 minutes ago. Cloudy and stuff. So you see, the weather screwed the things up!!

But my partner and I went running anyways. Nature's elements! I tell you!

Now, who the HELL is whistling the 'Godfather' tune in the corridor!!???? Bloody hell!! No! It's "Balloday 'ell"... We are trying to be British. Forgot?

Okay, so the weather was screwed up, I mistakenly thought that I was in a mood for a run, and so many other things. Oh! Almost forgot! My partner was on a roll. I mean, his speed and stuff was propelling him a lot forward than  mine was propelling me! Brilliant. There is ONE more thing. Okay, this is a bit of a 'private emotion problem' kind of a thing. More than emotion, it's more like 'private Motion problem' kind of a thing, you see. Hope that was suggestive enough. I mean, you didn't really expect me to say that I was having 'Down-loading' issues, now, did you? Wow! Man, I should get into Stand-up comedy!! You see, I like standing. I just don't like being left standing.. Any ways, bad jokes aside, let's come back to the RUN.

So today, in the very beginning, my partner was like "Let's take it easy today." See?? See?? It's like the whole world was conspiring against me from the very beginning!! Hell to you! And before that? A crow downloaded... Now THAT is the only time in my life where I didn't have to wait for a download. Did I mention that I was under the crow? Ah!! Now you see.... I mean, Don't you?

Yeah, enough digression. So running running, strangely, I didn't feel like it any more. Hmm... That's what I call 'magical realization'! And then it was like tumbling Domino's. Now herein lies the problem. The domino's didn't take more than 30 minutes to fall. At least if they had, things would have been a lot more 'free'. So there comes an incline! Yessss!!! I love inclines... Specially the 'going-up'/climbing ones. Things that move in all their glory down-hill or on flat grounds, they wither away at the sight of an upward slope. Good for me... Thankfully, this climb was the only time in the entire day where I felt like a warrior(a.k.a myself). Ooooooh!! I so love to put myself on a pedestal! So I was playing 'Catching up'. I caught up to an extent. And then the slope got over... Hmmm.... I don't know why though, I couldn't push  myself today as I usually can. So End of the slope. I was like... "What the hell!". The end was close. I could see my buddy right up ahead, and then for some inexplicable reason, I stopped 50 meters before finish line. Now here's the funny part.

She appeared. Exactly when I felt things could go wrong no more. If you have seen the movie Inception, you remember Leonardo's wife turning up at exactly the perfectly wrong time. Now my 'She' just happened to have done that today.I usually light up at her sight. But not today!!! Helll!!!!!!!

I am just happy that she smiled. Although now, I feel that I should have gone into overdrive mode on the slope, beaten my partner on our race to the finish line, crossed the imaginary red ribbon first and gone and given her a hug, maybe a peck on her cheek(Okay, maybe not that..I mean you can only ask so much, you see...although you never know.) and shouted, "Yo! Adrian! We did it!!".

Alas...

You see, It happens. Shit happens!