Court adjourned! Charged GUILTY!!

This is about something that I have been avoiding to think about for the longest 2 months yet. Guilt. It is one of,what I thing, a primary response of a non-sociopath to the skeletons in his/her closet.

And, frankly, this is one emotion for which, I do not mind being a sociopath. It is absolutely pathetic to think of your guilt....(this act is also called regret).

It is only possible to experience guilt when you truly believe that you have violated some standards of your own set of rules. Else,nothing can actually convince one of his/her guilt. Why the hell am I telling this?? Trust me, I am actually searching for an answer in thin air. Thing is, in most case, I let the gone, be gone.

I have been reading a few lines a few too many times everywhere.

There were something like a bunch of people on their death beds,who were asked..."What do you regret in your life?"

Firstly, the person who asked them this question, if I get hold of his neck, I'll choke him!! These folks belong to the lowest level of hell!!! Jaa chudail!!!(more on that,sometime later...)

Okay,the responses, as per these dying folks were like this mostly:

-" I wish I had smiled more/allowed myself to be happier",

"I wish I had listened to my heart more".. or something like that.

Not like..."I wish I hadn't asked that girl out,so that I could save myself the embarrassment of getting slapped." 

I haven't done any public survey to add to the credibility of what I think/say/type(Urrghh!! Whichever,you see fit!!) but we almost always regret more from not doing something, rather than doing it. Just personal experience, no proof. I had been a part of my dream that came the closest to coming true. Then my mom called. For the first time, I  woke up.(Yeah,usually,my mom leaves me to nature's devices to wake up...unfortunately not this time.) I dare not blame my mom for waking up. I chose to wake up. I won't beat myself for it. But yes, seeing a dream come true, would BE a dream come true! 

It is pointless to ask for forgiveness. For someone seeing no offence in his doings, no sentence can 'fix' the person pressed with the charges. For those who acknowledge the breach of the law inside them, no reform can grant them forgiveness. That is their penance.

Revival

It is strange to be troubled by a need that isn't a necessity for survival but still leaves you completely frustrated if it has become close to a part of your daily routine. It has been two weeks that my laziness left the world to become a better place. As unbelievable as it may sound, not a single day went by when I wasn't nagged by my insides for the fact that I haven't let the contents of my head out. At first,I thought,what have I to lose? But slowly, the 'snowball-effect' came into life.
BRAINS IN THE BIN: Now this is the expression that comes to mind when I think of what I put myself through. In Shakespeare-is words, I actually cried(in my own head of course!)
"Where go thou, my mind?? I wish not thou art rest in my hind...."
It almost ended up being a low-point of my self-esteem curve. I actually plot this curve you know?? Goodness,I am truly bad at bluffing..
I'm going nowhere...
Somebody help me...Stayin' alaaaaaaiiiiiiivvvvvvee !!!!!!!!!!
Enough self beating! On with new posts...
Coming sooner...

The balding eagle.

This,as you may not realize,isn't a dig at the USA's national bird.

This is something that has taken about more than a third of the earth's population's peace by storm. 

Time-3 pm.

Friend: Dude! You're losing your hair..

The 'Dude'-Oh! Who?? ME??(No,my uncle..) Nah man..My hair's wet. Oh shit!! I forgot to use the towel after taking bath in the morning...(Now you know why the time was mentioned...)

Or....'Dude':That stupid barber is a fucking jackass!! Never go to him!

Friend: Dude,you didn't get a haircut in a month....

WWOOPS!!

Baldness..SUCKS

Poor fellows really don't want to go bald..

Many of our grandfathers,from the mother's side,from the father's side...and in most unfortunate cases,from both sides have had to deal with it(Err...that's me..Annnd I have started seeing what shit genetics can do to you..).

And they,(grandfathers).....err......haven't...........exactly.........succeeded APPARENTLY.

There are all sort of ads addressing baldness and it's solutions in the newspapers,TV,magazines, et cetera . Err,even radio stations aren't immune to this stuff.

There are 'hair studios' that use Shane Warne , Brett Lee, Saurav Ganguly and all the other Lees' to testify how effective these places are. Fellows try all sort of oily stuff on their head..all allopathic,homeopathic,ayurvedic,herbal,Chinese,sub-Saharan techniques, whats' and what not's to stop,if not reverse the deforestation of their precious mane. 

Then there are those wigs of course...age old solution....not very useful until a few recent cases(Michael C.Hall,Dexter lead actor,this one is not funny please!seriously!!)

Some wise ones just stop caring(actually,they stop caring because of helplessness...). They seek solace in reading articles that go by the title 'Girls find bald guys more attractive'(Do I really need to tell you how I feel about this one??) and they obviously get depressed to read stuff that looks like 'Bald folks experience higher stress'. Whether or not they do,I am sure the article's title puts them more under stress.

Now.....The wiser ones..(I belong here by the way) happily go fully bald.

Extra attention is one upside to this one,okay,maybe not the positive kind,but still.A little bit extra of this thing may just come in handy. There are downsides to this one too...but unavoidable in the other two options too, in most cases that is.

Parents(specially moms) get worried.

Ohh!! Son,You will look so weird! You had so much hair when you were young(By the way,you are still young!!). Basically,that is her concerned way of saying..."Son,Getting a girl just got all the more harder...specially when it was already hard for you in the first place..."...Very insightful.

Meanwhile...you are like...Mom,Mayyybe  you could have thought over this issue when you saw both my grandfathers....(Okay...that was SO NOT a joke..Shit!! If my mom reads this,then??).

BUT!!!! BUTT!!!! BUTT(No,the butt doesn't have hairloss troubles...probably even if it did,you wouldn't give a fuck I suppose),men aren't the only ones with the troubled mane.

It is something of a trouble even on Venus inhabitants!! I was shocked to learn of this,the first time,as a kid when I heard this..But later,it sort of sunk in...Law of symmetry. This may not be any proven law...but concepts like 'things go full circle',Yin-Yang(okay,maybe not this one) and things like that...same stuff. Besides,why should the cause of Man's troubles(I am going to be aimed at with rocks for this one!!) be spared of his troubles??(Hope they never understand guys!!)

No,but it is actually pretty sad sometimes..annd fun otherwise(I am seriously dead),speciallllly if 'their' barber TRULY screwed up!!!! But all hands down for those who go all off...THEY HAVE BALLS MAN!! Seriously(Okay,not that seriously...)

Some are unfortunate to go through with things like cancer. I won't call it unfortunate,you can beat me as much you want for this,because these,where ever they are,no matter what the end result,specially if they are fighting, surpass probably every source of motivation on the planet. I don't pity them. It would be an abuse to their courage! 

Okay,it got a bit too heavy I guess.On a lighter note, to those pansys' who are looking to shed their wallets on treatment...two things...

1-Hope your treatment works.

2-Hopefully,you'll buy a hair clipper with a little less money.

For the remaining ones...Enjoy this commercial....You will double up(not sorry if you lack the funny bone!)..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9CQpYPR1Ug

Jai maata di!!

ज़ोर से बोलो!!  जय माता दी!!(Shout in the praise of Mother India!)

फिर से बोलो!! जय माता दी!!(Shout it again int the praise of Mother India!)

दिल से बोलो!! जय माता दी!!(Say it with your heart,in the praise of Mother India!)

मुह से बोलो !! जय माता दी!!(Say it with your mouth!! in the praise of Mother India!)

जय माता दी!!जय माता दी!!

जय माता दी!!जय माता दी!!......

I really wish I could write the whole post in Hindi..

Indians surprisingly constitute the biggest fraction of English talkers. Okay,it may not be that surprising, or maybe it is...err...the adaptation process taking it's toll. It is sort of a reason for pride and stuff,but in another way,it isn't. No doubt it has put us at an advantage at a macro level....hmmm  That's the best I can do to sound politically correct,and frankly speaking,every word that I type into this post makes me feel more like a hypocrite,specially while using jargon like 'Hypocrite'.

I am an Anupam Kher fan. If you do not know him,well...(firstly,bad for you)search him up. He belongs to this 'brilliant but underdog' category of actors..Another one like him is Naseeruddin Shah...And Nana Patekar,just to name a few. So I saw this TEDx talk by Anupam Kher..I remember this particular situation he was describing..He was in a flight,headed for...er...no clue..Cutting straight to the chase, he was sitting next to some guy...as one usually does in a plane and...this guy refused to recognize him...(Yeah,it definitely hurt Mr. Kher's ego but...) He described his neighbor's demeanor like..."Oh...I don't know this actor..I only watch English movies..Hindi movies are like low class" of sorts.. 

When I heard this,what I felt,in fact was not anger...or contempt or anything close to this by a long shot. I felt nostalgia.... It has happened all the time.  Few too many of my friends,and to b honest,many a times,I to have done the same thing. Just apart from the fact that I have managed to watch few excellent Hindi movies,both before,and after the 'cool factor' of watching English movies came int existence. For this,I have to thank my mom. She actually loves watching movies. But my dad isn't a big fan..Maybe one or two in a while..but not too many. 

This is one place here I truly appreciate the Chinese,Japanese(of what I know) and all the cultures,that have really kept their language preserved,maybe not fully,but to a lot greater an extent than we have. Our country is so diverse,the dialect changes every 100 km or so..My figures aren't super accurate,but sufficiently so to just get a picture of where we live. By the way,that figure of 100 km is totally valid in the state, where I originally belong ..Kerala..I don't need proof for this one. And before someone really beats me up,I have to add that I don't talk much in Malayalam,my native language... I love the expression on the faces of people when they think that they can talk whatever they want about/not about me in front of me,after they realize that...well,the guy got every word of what the folks were talking. That expression on their face comes at the price of 'fitting into' their community,maybe it will eventually happen. 

Woooops...too much digression. 

So coming back to Hindi..I was in school,(by the way...back in the days.) A friend and I were conversing in Hindi..Now,the school was an English Medium one(thankful to my parents,more than I can say),so medium of oral......I mean verbal exchange was (obviously..Duh!) English. One of us..okay!! I uttered this word 'abey'..which in British English,'literally'  turns out to be 'Oi'.

Now,we both were looked down upon...yeah,we had breached the school's etiquette...or in Hindi...हमने मरियादा का उल्लंघन कर दिया!! Sadly, the teacher caught my friend,instead of me. He sort of got scolded..meanwhile,I slipped through happily.... I know...I am not a friend indeed,but anyways... So that's the story.

In recent times,the book-worm bit me. It is sort of wrong usage of the term 'bookworm' but who gives? So I got fascinated with reading. I read more in the past 7 months,than I probably had read till then in my 2 decade worth life. So I told my mom,how books keep you occupied and stuff.She started reading too. She actually likes reading Hindi novels. I guess,as long as you read,be it anything,it absolutely is worth it. So in these summer holidays,whenever she reads,I just sit next to her and she reads to me. Probably,I should start reading Hindi myself. A change in language might come in handy...Yeah,so she picked up this book by Harivansh Rai Bachhan,actually his autobiography. Isn't it slightly strange how his grand-daughter-in-law is Aishwarya 'Rai' Bachhan?? Ahh!! Forget the frivolous intricacies..

Point is,this guy did his doctoral thesis on W.B.Yeats..all English literature and poetry...then he comes back to India and goes on to become of the most people in the Hindi literature circuit. Some admirable fellow. 

Thinking of this(I know this one is kind of long but..what to do?!),there is this TV commercial that comes on this channel called Comedy Central.I happened to have heard this one line.

It goes like this..."I'm not a sellout!! What's a sellout??"

Now,I actually forgot about this 'sellout' word for a while till I read the word in this book 'Outliers'(Malcolm Gladwel) when I realised what it meant. I am sure you know it,but just for the sake of it(or bluntly put...Just if you don't know the meaning,here it is...)It's like this person,belonging to a different community, trying to fit into a new community by trying to imitate this new community's people's habits.

From where I see,we have so successfully become sellouts. If you happen to belong to a decently well off background(that I am fortunate to belong to),it is sort of shameful a scene when actually look down upon you when you are speaking in your mother-tongue,or Hindi,most of the times.

From what fellows want to convey,it doesn't have CLASS. What nonsense??

Again,this realization of mine,is to be credited to my mom. 

For the credits to the first stanza in this post,all credits to Krishan Raj Singh by the way...

Faavicol

Music really changes the way you feel...
I have a penchant for lyrics. It is of the most ignored part of a song.
Laundiya pataenge miss call se..(I'll make the chick mine,using missed calls)
As cheap as most of the songs sound,they never the less manage to put a big wide grin on the face..
What I do no understand is that,when you laugh,people think why you are so happy. My moods haven't been any more ambivalent than they are now.
 When you are sad,they wonder why you are sad. It feels absolutely superb when you have your head phones on,you are laughing our of your mind,and you see that weird question mark on the face of onlookers. More than anything,sometimes it so happens that more than laughing because of the song,it is the expression on many a face that is hilarious.
And then,I give them the smile,that basically reinforces their belief in my eccentricity. It's fine with me.You either sob your life to death,or you choose to die laughing...
"Let's put a smile on that face"

Trance

The past two days have gone by like a blur. It feels like you are there in your head,despite you aren't. I am not under the influence,but it feels no different,it seems, as I am yet to get under the influence.. What if you have a reason to stand atop the tallest point on earth and shout out in anger? Firstly,will anyone hear it? What if instead,you are staring into the dark...trying to sleep,and all you do for the longest while is toss and turn around,as inactivity won't let you sleep?
You can't name your reasons. Everyone around you knows it. Just that the thought of uttering the reason keeps them quiet. To say what is in your head is meant to be impolite. Silence is golden. And you smile,when what you ought to do is vent out. There was this lady I heard talking,who said, our brain is not ready for this time,when things are best kept in a bottle. I feel like a teenager with my hormones pushing me the wrong way. I look out of the window,I see 52 shades of grey. I know that what I do is not the best way to do it when I am facing 75 keys instead of a punching bag. Maybe I'll sleep it over. Till then,I wait for sleep to come to me.

The pot

There's this place. It's like the safest place on the planet,especially if you have had extra servings of legumes. No one in the world will disturb you ever. You are left to yourself,with that constant murmuring thing in your head that will never stop nagging a soul on earth,or for that matter,anywhere in the universe. The best part is that usually,you can spend as long as you want,as much as you'd like of your time in this paradise,until and unless you are in a place where there's space for only one of these paradises,with a long queue of dreamers desperate to answer their calling..

Some of the best ideas come out of these places...never mind a few of the worst ones... Calm,serene,peaceful,relaxing(when you simply sit after you are done with your 'doings'). You feel inspired to think. There have been great many monuments(err...statues rather) which have been made in the name and glory of this space. After peanut butter,Ice-cream,Dark chocolate and the few other man made things,this is one of the greatest inventions of man..I present to you...THE humble POT...

Even Archimedes in his 'EUREKA' moment was actually...'in' a pot..Err..that pot was actually pretty big.. But we can safely say,he was somewhere near a pot.
The next guy you see,is one of the greatest stinkers...I'm sorry..'thinkers'.

Look at the peaceful face!!

 And then we have this one..

 Now,as a society,we have had this habit of not mentioning the elephant in the room,be it a pink one or a white or grey one...
Now...here's the real picture...

You see?? So much for reverence.. It's like the sculptors,or whoever wanted the 'un-potted' Thinker's statue built,didn't want the common man to realize that what the Thinker was doing...is precisely the same thing that the lay mad did every morning(yeah,not applicable to the constipated ones..),and maybe,most can skip on the muscles.But the bigger picture is clear. Isn't it? We all are supposed to feel our greatness I guess. Doesn't it feel absolutely great after you are done?? It is actually meant to feel that way.Yeah we all know this,but now,we can sit in peace,as the elephant just fled the scene. Behind you!! There!! 

Oh! I am so sorry by the way! This isn't a man made invention.. Wait!! I have proof!!

Never thought this creation of mine would ever come handy... Never the less,it did. Nature has it's ways....Never mind the text below the fellow or the one in the dialogue box..If you get the meaning,all's well. If you don't,it's no big deal..

In the movie Rocky,Carl Weathers,playing Apollo Creed had a line.."Be a thinker...Not a stinker!"

It's time,I feel we change that line a bit..Be a thinker..while a stinker!!

Happy potting!!

Man! it was amazing!!

The house was very complicated.It had staircases all over the place.We were searching for something in the house,two girl,really good friends of mine and I. I don't know why  they were helping me out,probably that is what friends are for,besides,it made the scenario a lot better..(If I know you well enough to consider you a good friend,rather,if you consider me a good friend,please feel free to put yourself as one of the beautiful ladies,and even otherwise)

I was kind of bored with the searching...There was this pull-up bar inside.It was pretty high. But I leaped for it anyway.I caught it somehow. It's always fun to do stuff you think is out of your reach. If you happen to pull it off,you feel LIKE A BOSS!! Suddenly,it was like we were being surrounded.Someone was planning an ambush on us. There were moving shadows everywhere,crouching,trying to hide. We saw the motions around us. The three of us dashed for the rear exit before the attackers could surround the rear side entrance.

The house was in the middle of the forest. We got out of the house and dashed for open ground. It didn't seem like the best plan,neither now,nor then,but it was better than being ambushed in an enclosed surrounding.

Thankfully,the two girls were fast runners. So it wasn't the typical scene of pulling each other to stay together,or playing catch-up with the gang. But our pursuers were quick to realize our departure through the back gate. So they were hard on our tail. 

Right ahead,there was this huge tree that had blocked our path. It had fallen into this shallow depression in the ground. The two girls jumped straight over it. I surprisingly got my footing wrong,barely missing tripping over the tree's trunk,falling face down. Mind you,I did NOT fall face-down... 

Fortunately I had realized microfractions of a second before that I was not going to get my footing correctly before the jump. So I pushed the ground with all the force my legs could muster. I leapt over the log. It was a huge freaking leap. I realized something. I landed.This time,I pushed off even harder. 

A few moments passed. I heard a few gun shots. Then the chasers stopped firing at me. The girls stopped running. I could see their jaws drop in shock,amazement,rather. Actually everybody's jaws fell(except mine of course). A few feet off the ground,a figure that had leapt over the fallen tree,never landed.

Yeah baby!! I could fly!!

My first leap at the pull-up bar actually felt a bit strange. While the three of us were on the run,at the time I missed my footing and leaped,as I mentioned earlier,I realized that this one was completely worth a try. So I put everything into it. Initially,I felt as if I was losing altitude. But then  ,I managed to maintain flight. Those few moments of flight were the best thing I felt.

Our pursuers happened to realize that neither their numbers,nor guns  were of no use to them anymore.So they fled. 

And I woke up... I frankly don't feel bad about it. I felt great even after waking up.  I never felt something so real.There's another thing.The whole while,I knew I was dreaming. Somehow,I was able to control it.It has actually been a while that I wanted to read Sigmond Freud's book on dreams,especially since my English teacher had mentioned about this book in my 11th grade. Fortunately I do have the book. So I shall get to it at once.

This unfortunately wasn't much of a 'moral of the story' kind of a case. But I realized(in reality) that  a hunch towards an idea is probably worth a try.

Happy dreaming!!

Aye Uncle!!

Uncle..The dude whom you can't call anything else.He ain't young enough that you can call him an older brother,you don't like addressing the fellow as 'sir'..too formal,and English just doesn't have a consortium of words to address a male, who is either next of kin or neither so,unlike most other languages. So if nothing comes into mind, UNCLE it is. Yes,in our own surroundings,Bhaiyya always comes handy. But then even Salman Khan says..."Please,don't call me BHAI."
Besides,where I live,thee is something people have against 'bhaiyyas'. Not that they have a very relevant point in the following sentence,but it isn't that technically correct to call a 65 year old taxi/autorickshaw driver 'bhaiyya' no??
Aye UNCLE! UNCLE!! You have a message....or something like "UNCLE!! Why aren't you picking up the phone??" A while ago,I heard this as a message and caller tune on one of my older cousin's cellphone. It was this ugly childish persistent voice,the sort that would make your mornings hell,were they to be your alarm tone. Some piece of work. Strangely enough,the thing actually doubles you up,the moment the phone rings. Anyhow,at least that is a way how these folks smile for a while during the whole day.I sure hope they forget to put the phone on silent during a very important meeting...... Heeeeeee...

Now,there's tragedy to this post.
I was travelling in a train. There was this bunch of teenagers(while typing this,I actually feel like a complete uncle!!!) Yeah,I overshot my 'teenage' by 2 years now...but I feel no different than when I was 12..neither in size,nor intellect...SUCKS!
Yeah,so this some 17-18 year old chick comes and says....(this is sickeningly embarrassing),excuse me *UNCLE*???????? HUH??? WHHHHAAAATTTTTT??????? WHOOO??? WHERE????WHENN???
I mean,she should be saying,excuse me Chhotu(Okay,she was shorter to me I suppose,so Chhotu is kind of ruled out),but anything..ANYTHHING!!!!! ...Uncle? I died that day....Not laughing by the way...IT IS NOT FUNNY!!! OKAY??
Days like this really..frankly speaking...fuck you up!!! Hell, I am just 21!! I am not at the pinnacle of good looks,but UNCLE?? The word sounds obnoxious as it repeatedly rings in my ears..
UUUUUWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEIIIINNNNN.....Now I feel like a 4 year old kid....
Bullshit!! The girl must have been blind...Oh!! That is why she was wearing those shades!!!
This above paragraph is like those things that you want to tell someone,but somehow,you wish no one bothers reading it... And if you felt like laughing....and enjoyed it.....STOP AT ONCE!!!!!
NOT FUNNY!!! Please don't laugh...Please..

Knight owl

Ever seen people go to sleep,and wake up in the morning and seen the expression on their face??
The expression goes like this...
HOW???
And in your own head,one's like :YEAH PUNNNKK!!!
For some reason,nights feel a lot more productive when you're onto something. Daytime just goes by.Something or the other comes up and ...gone,there goes time out of the window.
Night time is like,you put a stick of chewing gum in your mouth,keep double the requisite quantity of coffee(as by now,one is virtually immune to coffee) and set off into the dark.
I keep repeating this but I HATE SLEEP. Trouble is,when I fall for it,I turn into Kumbhakarana! It's written everywhere,GET MORE SLEEP,GET MORE SLEEP!!! 6 hours,7 hours 8 hours...Sounds like someone selling you sleep using some discount scheme.. The discount is your time on earth!
You sleep too less,it seems you start to feel disorientated(Okay,you do feel a bit irritated sometimes)
If you sleep too much,it seems you are at risk of some random heart disease(No clue about this one..)
Yeah,sleep it over..This thing actually works.
But Damn! Why do we get tired? Right now,as you read this,the person who was writing it a while back was fighting this 'tire'anny.
It sort of becomes difficult to get ideas right. All stuff gets jumbled in your head. Strangely,when you're done,you very well know that you are done.Sad part is that you can do nothing about it other than letting your body take over. I don't have much to boast about,but 2 consecutive nights has been my best at staying awake.But the moment you put physical activity into account,the body and mind enter a battle field...Body wins...Hands down. This thing demands too much for carrying the mind around!!!
Somewhere you realize that whatever you are ranting about is...
1-Not making sense
2-Isn't funny
3-Better if stays in your head,rather than coming out into the world.
So you abruptly end the topic.
Good night!
Z..Z.....Z....

Maybe the dots will connect.

It was fun to do it as kids..This one blank page had a number of dots all over it,sometimes numbered as per sequence to be followed while joining them..The fancy books even had the color schemes given to complete the big picture. Most often though,we all did this to get familiar with alphabets,numbers,words,sentences et cetera(Yeah,that's what 'etc' stands for,in Latin,for 'and other things'...obviously). Every day,we learned something new,which even now,we do if willing to. But back then..it sounds slightly weird..about two decades ago,everything went in reverse gear.
Check the scenario for a second. You were given a bunch of dots to connect to get a better understanding of where you were heading.
If you happen to be a 20 something,and were asked to connect the dots to draw the bigger picture of where you are headed.....Well forget it.No point.
It is one of the most frustrating questions you ask yourself,time and again..Now what??
With parents,friends,all ruddy relatives,even more of the unrelated ones asking the same question.."What are your future plans",life is hell. Especially,if you hate the thoughts of a desk-job,it becomes even more difficult.(I have full trust in the fact that,now,more than ever before,No company is going to hire me!!)..
But stick with yourself,it will be easy to realize that things were meant to make sense,which is very much a result of the firm conviction in yourself(It sounds a lot more convincing when your mood is good).
I mean,now,there's Steve Job's Stanford speech about connecting the dots. This is something that will only look right in the hindsight. And I guess it is fair enough. What's the point of knowing where the dots will be,and then feeling great about connecting them? Maybe,it is all about the chase. Then,there's also Rashmi Bansal writing an entire book about "C.nnecting The D.ts"(Okay,that was a bad idea...).
I look back a few months on my 'timeline'(Not on Facebook!!! Real life timeline for a change). I remember sitting in the college library,bored to death.I had this urge to write often. Then,I felt,why not write a blog?? What do I have to lose? What I usually wrote,was left trapped in my notebooks and diaries. In this case,if I did write a blog,the worst thing would be that no one would read it.So I was never worse off..Good for me. Fast forward a few months,I read this article about the 'Top 10 ways to de-stress'. One of them was to work out...Another apparently was to start a blog.. Wow,I was on a fucking roll!!! Basically,I did stuff that left me lower on stress,even without knowing it.
Okay,enough of the cocky part.
Fast forward a few more steps. I had a dream of organizing a TEDx event in my college. In the application form,there's a question which goes like...'Mention any website/blog'(any active online stuff you do)  which would help TED understand you better.'
The smile I had on my face that day,when I filled the application form,is not something I see too often,not that I don't smile otherwise. Sometimes I don't have a reason to double up. My dad tells me,I go mad without getting drunk..GOOD FOR ME!!
So it will all happen.The ups,the downs..we know the whole jig(actually I don't..and trust me,neither does anyone).But it'll be fun I suppose..the thrill of uncertainty and the likes.
We should go back to being kids.Pencils in hand,searching for the next dot,completing the BIG picture.

We all let it pass...

Thank me,this one's going to be short,until I have another bout of what I call..THE 'Idea attack'!!.
It is one of those things where your heart is all right,your head....well,it starts behaving like the heart..where instead of cloggy plaque,there are cloggy ideas  that crowd around...severely hampering your ability to think. Now,moving on...
VLC media player-
We all use this program/application to watch stuff.It is very versatile,plays a ton of video formats,even the high resolution stuff(which,if you are me,cannot play on your net-book without this ...) and a lot more of the technical jargon,which,fortunately I wouldn't dwell upon,given my considerations for the human race....
I noticed this quite a while ago(I am sure,many have) but WHY does this thing have volume to 200% ??? HUH??? 200%?? Again...WHY??? If anyone knows the answer to this,please tell me!!

Second thing...I by mistakenly put my right leg into my pants first,unlike the usual left leg...It was the weirdest feeling...not good,not bad...I was sort of stuck for a moment...Like,I am half way into the pants..and then I was like...NOW,WHAT DO I DO?? Needless to say,I was struck by the most enlightening thought in recent time...
The thought goes like this...."Dude,put your other leg in...."
-_-  ....

Alrighty then..

Sometimes,there's this desperation to do something. But trouble is,you have no clue what to do. It feels like you are lying on the bed,badly wanting to sleep,and it's been a while since you are lying down.

There's something about people(other than Mary!)

Given the right ones you get exposed to,what they do,just won't let you sleep. Yes,it's called JEALOUSY!!! Surprisingly,the word jealousy also has in it the word 'lousy'. Now THAT sounded lousy! You see,Jealousy/Envy may be listed as one of the seven sins as per belief(definitely not my belief). But if one strives to improve,it is one of the quintessential forces that can keep you going till you want to,obviously if you only have the leash on it to not let you turn yourself into a complete bum!

Here's an example. There's this guy,whose blogs I follow. He announced his 5000th blog post. He posts about one/2(at max) a day.Basically he hit 5000 over a period of round about 8-9 years. 

Yes! it means two things..Either the fellow is jobless!!

Or..the more interesting part..He is super committed to writing.Mind you,in the past about 17-18 year,apart from blogs,the fellow seems to have written  about 12 books of his own.

The even more surprising thing is that,had I not read his announcement of the 5000th post,I certainly wouldn't be writing this.

Another realization I had is that,my laziness is only till the time I start to write. Once I start,I can't stop.As a matter of fact,before I started,I did not have words to write.

I am usually very concerned about the stuff/topic I want to write about.I randomly get urges in the middle of nowhere to write about THE most random topics that might pop into one's mind at any given point of time. The thought of public good goes out of the window,annnd 15 minutes down,I click the button 'Publish'.

A minute before,I was having the last line of this post in my head...Sorry,I forgot it..

I shall probably leave it with this thought(I know, I am going to finish this one too,and realise...OHH SHIT!! I forgot to write  some 'PQR'..)

Fight! Fight ! Fight!

PQR!

Of chicken and chicks..

If you clicked this link looking for the latest in chicken farming techniques,it has,I assure you,THE most definitive,most scientifically advanced methodology on how,the following content shall keep you from getting closer your dream, i.e. to establishing the most successful chicken farm!!! Shooo!! Shoo!!!!(That's for the birds)

Have you ever been in a situation when there's this girl you want to talk to,kind of badly,but you are scared..not of talking to the girl,but the girl herself.. It is slighhhhtly difficult to explain. What if this one judges you? Yeah girls usually do,not that you give a monkey's tail for that,usually again,but this is kind of not so usual. I am pretty sure,there hasn't been another one who's actually afraid of falling for someone..Is there now? This isn't any socially relevant topic to speak on,except,it sort of screws around my social life,hence,by laws of causality and eventuality and other similar flamboyant,currently irrelevant and most importantly,useless words,this IS an issue of my social relevance.

Bloody hell I sound selfish..

One moment,I have made up my mind, “आज तोह कुछ भी हो जाए,बात तोह करके रहून्गा ”(No matter what happens,I WILL talk to her today!!),then there's this sound from inside, “चल छोड़ ना यार,कल कर लेना बातें ”(Chill dude,Maybe try talking to her tomorrow).

And I am like, “फिर से हो गया पंटा -धार ”(Yeah,Congratulations,you just screwed up)

And this situation goes back and forth for a few days.. Then from somewhere,you get the bad news...

“अरे,उस वाली लड़की को तोह 'वोह' वाला STUD पता गया बे!!”(Hey,that chick has been taken by 'that dude' man!)

“और हम साल दरिया के किनारे,धरे-के-धरे रह गए ”(And I was left to sit helplessly on the beach)

वोह अंग्रेज़ी में कहतें है ना ...फॉरएवर लोनली ...(FOREVER LONELY)

P.S.-

This post has no bearing what so ever to the writer's life(Mostly....). The writer ends up in the 'Forever lonely' category for being too much(exceedingly so) IN-THE-FACE of the girl...Tragically,he does end up in that category(What an achievement,brother!!).

The writer....

Treadmill

Yeah, TREADMILL. Sounds any familiar to the word RUN-OF-THE-MILL ?
Let's break the word 'Treadmill' down. According to the Oxford English Dictionary(Or probably any given dictionary,just that the OED sounds fancy,like lending extra credibility to the meaning) the word means 'a monotonous/mundane task'. Look at it this way. Treading the mill. Reminds you of the industrial age with too many mills around?? Wherever you were to tread(a fancy word for walking/moving about),you would encounter one. Of course the same goes for the term Run-of-the-mill. The boring usual stuff...

Coming to this post,I proudly call myself an avid runner. It is one of the most primal,primitive activity humans have engaged in from the very beginning,that qualifies as a sport.
I love long distances. It keeps people away from me(Good for the people),and me away from people(Good for me) for a good while. Too good to be true right?? So.....
I recently pulled my inner thigh(fancifully called my adductor muscle),basically the thing that helps pull your leg towards the inside. Some random muscle,let's keep it simple..which put a full-stop to my running for the past literally one month(Which made my life really suck for the past one month..).I already had more reasons to make my life suck,but today,I am in a decent mood,so won't bother another soul.
I have been doing basic stuff for sake of rehabilitation and regaining strength. I was slightly skeptical about going all out with my first target after getting back into business,which is a 10 K run.
If you have been to a gymnasium,there's one particular machine over which,too many gym-monger pour too much sweat(literally). Yesssss!! It is the TREADMILL!!!!! They go all huffy-puffy over it for as long as they can remember. It is one of the most boring thing you can think of doing in a gym,not that the other things are very interesting. 3 years ago,even I wanted to join a gym.I was(still am) a Sylvester Stallone fan.I wanted the big guns. Then somehow,the charm of big guns just got lost,no idea how.
When I was at this gym,I remember this trainer..big burly fellow..He said,"The average labor worker gets paid for lifting heavy rocks.Most guys around here pay for lifting weights". Sucks when you are on the receiving end of the joke.....
For the sake of checking if my injury is anywhere closer to healing completely,I closed my eyes and tried the treadmill for probably the third time in life. As usual,it sucked. The thing killed me out of boredom!! Basically this is my ghost typing. The only upside of trying the treadmill is that now my ghost..whatever/whoever is typing this nonsense,realized that my bodily injury is somewhat healing.
Maybe the 10 K target looks a bit closer now..

Jeopardized!

I saw this fellow,about a week ago on,giving a talk. He was a champion of this game show called JEOPARDY. It's like a GK test of sorts. He was challenged by IBM to compete against a computer,they had developed,to play this game,basically an attempt to put 2 billion-worth things
1-Human brain,cognitive abilities of which took billion years to evolve
2-The IBM computer,which after our share of billion-or-so years of development,took another few billion dollars for development.

Quoting the fellow-"I thought I'd kick the computer's butt". I don't really feel that actually happened. It really was the other way round. Can one imagine? Actually if we can't,we're still living in the stone age. Look around. Everything is entering terabyte territory!,or at least,very soon will!
James Cameron had either seen the craziness our civilization was headed for,19 years ago,with his TERMINATOR,or he was pretty crazy himself. Or maybe he is to be blamed. Probably,his(James Cameron's) vision inspired scientists to move towards the technology from their fantasy land.
There is something I feel I am leaving out. Maybe James Cameron saw Arnold,and thought,"This fellow is no good at expressions or acting.Let's give him the strength of an express train and leave him to do all the 'blowing-up-things' part himself,without which,as it is,there isn't much to it."
Hmm...
But the point being that surprisingly,most of us are holding androids around.We probably have more Galaxies on earth,than in the universe.I do  not know if we buy the multiverse theory.But at the rate Samsung is going,we will soon be able to outnumber the total galaxies in existence with the ones in our hands.
1.7 GHz, 3 GHz, 5 GHz,20 GHz, RAMs up to any GB count, graphics processors, what's and not's!
All this that fit into the size of out palm(Okay,a bit bigger perhaps). When will it stop?? Is there any use to it? Yes,you can multi-task,run 99 'apps'(please,APPLICATIONS for heaven's sake!!),probably walk upside down and still run the widgets on the cellphones,as the thing has a gyroscope. But is there one human who WILL require all of it? I wouldn't be surprised if some smart-ass fellow comes up and says...YES.
This is why I love Steve Jobs. he put the entire personal electronics world upside down,then left it to the people to see hell break loose. "Few people just want to watch the world burn". Jobs is gone,Apple is jobless(Quite literally) and we are buying stuff that is making us lesser capable of thinking with the brain. We need all sort of maps to wade through places.
Look at it for a moment..We were gifted with this mind of ours to make things easier for us.And then,we had the brain to make things that would have us lesser to think about. Basically,we are happily reversing the course of nature.

Will our's be the world of the movies?

Will robots start deciding what's good according to their 3,4,5 laws? Will the T-1000s take over? Rather,will we let them take over because it is convenient?
All apologies for sounding cynical. I read a line in the newspaper.. It goes like-
Tycoon deeams of a world of 'Avatars' by 2045 
Life-Size Robotic Machines Carrying Digital Copies of Human Brains Raise Hopes Of Immortality
It seems we shall fight to live,even after dying now...

On a funnier note..there's this thing called the Google Glass,right?
It is some contraption like a pair of spectacles,that would be like a computer screen,that also apparently obeys 'voice command'. I still ask the question...WHY?? Anyways,
This is a joke my friend told me a while ago..
What if,you go to a guy wearing this Google Glass and shout the following command....
"FIRST 50 LINKS OF THE SEARCH 'PORN' OPEN IN INDIVIDUAL TABS"....

Something just happened...two weeks ago

Whattt???? Are they jobless?? Or are the viewers jobless? Joblessness has brought an entire nation to think,discuss,cuss,argue,scream and shout over one of the most futile,frivolous and unfruitful topics of the millenium for about 2 weeks now!!
The only thing every news channel is yapping about is how they are giving out the LATEST updates of how random folks are laundering money in all directions,and how all of it will be solved if a bunch of people resign from their positions! Brilliant I guess. LUDICROUS!!
I mean 2 weeks? Discussing this sort of stuff? I mean when nations are dealing with nukes,all people are concerned about is a stupid bunch of people? News hosts have such a firm conviction of what GREAT a job they are doing,that they just bring along a bunch of people desperate to appear on the TV screen to validate all the hypothesis. And after so much discussion,what out of it??
Yay!! They have solved the whole issue sitting in the news room! OR...They have so successfully informed the public that,all power is in the hands of a few people who are controlling mostly everything(That may be true,but not in this context). The only people I genuinely feel bad for is the fellows who saved up their cash for a ticket to the games.
Maybe I do not get the intensity of the situation because,I frankly do not follow a lot of sports. Specially,when the whole nation is after the same sport,and also because I lost nothing in the bid. If you are the one who lost your money/got tricked by a bunch of dudes who took advantage of you,by all means,go find the guy who did this to you,and kill him! But what about those who mindlessly sit in front of the TV for the LATEST breaking update on this issue to whine away their time??

ONE MORE THING! What is the purpose of a post-match analysis session?? I mean the fellows are done playing.What is the use of some GAME EXPERTS commenting their way to glory over things they have no control over?? There are great players who get attacked in a train by muggers,lose their legs in the process,and still have the balls(figuratively of course) to climb the Everest,in spite of having been condemned by the nation's government. And we talk of non-athletic good-for-nothings who surprisingly reach the home-screen after doing nothing!
It's almost like there is someone orchestrating the whole scenario,like the scene in the movie 'BATMAN RETURNS' where Riddler wants to control an entire city's population with his mind using the TV...


Noww..How do I get this idea to spread and stick??