Being Arsehole

Arsehole. It is surely one of the most convenient of expletives to use in everyday life. Again, it is 'one of the most'. Not 'THE most' convenient of expletives. There is a reason for being so specific because humanity has successfully built grammar around another word, THE 'F' word!! But since these posts are meant for family viewing/environments, let's not dwell on things of this sort for too long.

Coming back to the word 'arsehole', more so, to it's convenience, let's look at a list of potential candidates who are addressed by this word.

1.Friends,

2.That random driver who overtook you/cut your lane

3.Teachers

4.Some guy

5.Any guy

6.Every guy

7.You

8.I

After this post, #8 will be the #1 in terms of priority. Never mind. We see, that in general, the propensity of being called an arsehole is pretty high per capita, if we could put it that way. Many a times, we get so used to calling someone this way, that we might actually forget their real name. It's pretty common.

A friend of mine and I share this view that everyone is an arsehole. It's like an axiom, a starting point of sorts. I don't think we are exceptions  to this assumption. Look at the title of the post. Anyway, the theory, when put in practice is/will be convincing. See. In case the axiom is wrong, the worst thing possible is that the person in front of you would turn out to not be an arsehole.

And by chance, if one happens to be right, bragging rights are free for the correct ass-umption. So everyone's happy!

Besides, this is one of the few cases where one really gets a shot at revelling in one's glory while saying "I told you so!".

Apart from the funny aspect of 'Being Arsehole', it is kind of a filtering mechanism. This is a new insight. How? If you try not to be nice to everyone, don't smile at each poor soul that crosses your  path, don't try to please people, you are GUARANTEED a tattoo on your forehead that reads 'ARSEHOLE'.

Okay, smiles and niceties not sufficiently strong?Try saying 'NO' strongly to someone. Now you are not GUARANTEED, you are GUARANTEED to be christened an arsehole.

Act in self-interest, You are an arsehole.

Look a certain way, You are an arsehole.

Don't look a certain way, Correct! You are an arsehole.

And so on, and so forth.

So if you know that it's unavoidable, better go with the flow. Only important people, or only genuine people will stay with you at the end of the day. Another benefit is that one feels a lot more happy during self-assessment, that is obviously unless you are the kind who broods and over such trivialities sounding like this...

"Oh, my goodness, I am an arsehole. Now, what should I do?"

The guy even looks the part. Must have got nominated for an Oscar for his role. We all know what the award category was. No?

But there's a BIG problem with the terminology. It discriminates on the basis of gender. Look at it. When is a girl called "Ahem!"? Not fair! Yeah, but there's

another word for the ladies. Forget it. Let some lovely lady take the pains to enlighten us about the troubles of the greener side.