Misplaced

The most number of times a guy takes bath in his life is in either of the two cases stated below.

a)when he's in a relationship with a girl he doesn't want to disappoint or 

b)when he's a ready-to-be-sold-product of a factory we all call an engineering college. As I am not very well versed with the former case, allow me to stick to the the latter.

Formal Nonsense

It's a long walk, from the hostels to Aryabhatta hall, right through the middle of the campus to, the proving grounds/ slaughter house of the college. So you wash yourself, get all clean and tidy, and walk out of your rooms looking all good in your formal shirt, pant and shoes. And of all paraphernalia, that, your attire is the best part. But only, only of you don't have a hideous preference for colors. Let me explain. According to college policy, students up for campus placements should turn up formally dressed, which, in a slightly twisted way, is a good thing. Forget the fact that one looks a lot more presentable dressed in formals, to anyone, let alone a potential employer. You see, if you can't look good in formal wear, you can bloody well not look good wearing anything. And yes, that line comes straight out of my sister.  And of course, there will be ladies at Aryabhatta. So who gives a shit about whether or not the company chaps are looking good. As long as you look mind-blastingly awesome to the ladies, wallah! What placements??

The Assembly line

Let's get back to the long walk through the campus, the one from the hostel up to Aryabhatta. So you are all dapper and dashing, "Suit-boot pehenke aa gaya launda!", and you encounter a sight. There are two ways from here on. Either that you never gave a serious thought to the sight you have in front of you, or the mere thought of the sight is accompanied by revulsion. 

A moment ago, you were taking confident strides to a future that you saw was bright. The next moment, you see a dozen more just like you. Another moment later, there's an army with exactly the same stuff in their head that you had in your head two moments ago. And if you ever get a bird;s eye view of the whole scene, it will sure as hell look like a flock of sheep going to get reared, or even worse, rear ended, if you know what I mean.

Having said all that I did above, I have no qualms about competitive spirit. Just that when all humans could very well be sheep, that is when things start looking ludicrous. 

The Dream-Snatchers 

They come in HOT! Okay, sometimes, may be not. But the mere entry of the Company-waalas'  sweeps Aryabhatta with a deathly silence, as a sigh of respect, supposedly. I'd bet it is more out of curiosity. Specially the guys in the audience. All we want to be concerned with is if the lady from the HR department is hot or not. In most cases, if the lady ain't good enough to ogle at, our folks decide to under-perform in the company's selection process. And that makes sense. Don't ask why. 

The yuppies from the recruiting company shower the fickle minded college folks with words like CTC, bonuses, work-load/hours, Fortune 500, work-culture, office gymnasiums, steep-learning-curves, Big-data, Big-Bollocks, and of course, COMPENSATION. How could they do without the last word? Otherwise what do we, the students, their prospective employees, get in our hand, except our d**ks? (Whoops, sorry ladies! You don't get anything of your own in your hands.) With that last line, I have guaranteed myself a good beating, in case any beautiful damsel decides to read this.

All the yap by the company yuppies is basically a sales pitch, a very unconventional one at that. It goes like "Here's why you should sell your dreams away and buy those of our organisation instead, so that you can go home with a price-tag stuck to your forehead for preferably the rest of your life."

Now I am really scared, scared of a future when I decide to become a hypocrite.

But that's the way most of us have seen lives go by. More than yourself, your grandmother is concerned whether you will be able to get a good job, then a good girl, then children, so she can call herself a 'great' grandmother. Any other way she can fall into the 'great' category? Doubts...... Great!

I feel I got a bit too bitter there. It is probably because of the books I am reading nowadays, the contents of which are not things the fellows from the recruiting companies would like to see us read. Pick up anything by Robert Kiyosaki, and you would, in all probability lose all your eagerness of being called an employee. 

The lost Knight, in the night.

Now, the company folks want to be rigorous. They might take a truckload of chaps from the college, but they will make sure that they make you feel like a bitch for having taken you on-board. And they will make you feel that way all day and all night long if things are left in their hands. But then again, it is not entirely their fault. They come to a college where there is more intelligence than they can handle, that too in more numbers that they can handle. So they are bound to get screwed themselves too. Never the less, there is a good side to it all. And that is...

The Questions

Wow! Do these blokes come up with questions or what? Stuff you never gave an iota of time or thought to. Yes! Lack of self-introspection is a fault on our part, not in our stars. 

"Tell me something about yourself." 

"What are you passionate about?"

"Why should I hire you?"(This one makes you feel like beating them to pulp.)

Their basic question is "Can you sell anything? Specially yourself?"
Truth be told, it is only after an interview that you feel like finding out more about yourself, because before that, if you look in the mirror and ask yourself the question "Tell me about yourself", the answer is usually "Hmm.....Meh!".

Besides, as condescending "Selling yourself" sounds, Selling is a skill. One of the most important one. One sells him/herself everyday. Asking a girl out? You're selling yourself. Bargaining for marks? You're selling yourself. Getting permissions for some event you plan in college? You're selling yourself. Part of the Marketing team of some club? Again.... 

Someone really needs to start a course called Sales-1001 here!

It's never One-fits-all. 

Now that would suck. Some want to get placed because they HAVE to. Some want to get placed because everyone around them is getting placed. Some want to get placed to secure a back-up option, in case their intricately laid out plans go kaput. Some want to get placed as they feel morally obliged to contribute to their family's income. Some are compelled by circumstances to do so. And some have no bloody clue what so ever as to what is happening.

Finally..

To those, who wanted to be placed, and got placed, my heartiest congratulations.

To those, who did not want to get placed, and still got placed(read "Short-changed themselves"), my condolences.

To those who did not get placed, and want to get placed, Life ain't over. Companies shall line up for you. You at least don't lose anything for thinking that way. 

To those who say "We need a plan of attack!", I say "I have a plan: ATTACK!"

And to those, who proudly say "Do I really look like a guy with a plan?", I say "Respect! Let's just stick to *Doing* things."

**Special mention to all the placement representatives, specially Snehil Gopalka, for their relentless support, dedication and doggedness toward their work at the Training & Placement department. Without you fellows, this post wouldn't be possible!