I'd been hanging on this rod. That's how I woke up. Hanging. I do not remember, for how long it was, that I had been that way. It was in the middle of nowhere.
The rod extended onto either side infinitely, or that's what I could make out of what I saw. And that's all I could see. My arms overhead, my hands gripping over the rod. How I ended up like that, ask me not, as I don't know either. I tried holding on as hard as I could. I had started to feel my arms losing grip. I tried to pull myself up. Somehow, my arms were tired. Tired enough to be incapable of pulling me up. I guess, I had been hanging on for longer than I had estimated before.Meanwhile, the fingers kept peeling off the rod. I knew that my grip could give away any time now. So I tried pulling and tugging at the rod, as hard as I could with whatever strength I had remaining. No use. I was hanging by my fingers....now the tips of my fingers... Now I wasn't hanging anymore.
My heart skipped a beat. Then, it skipped a few more of them. I couldn't breathe for a moment or two. I think, that's how one feels during a fall. No control. No idea of what and where, up, down or anything was. A few seconds, a song popped into my head. It goes like this..
Gravity is working against me
And gravity wants to bring me down
I don't know why this song, Gravity, by John Mayer, of all the songs I know, was playing in my head. It's blues! And I was falling. Yet it felt peaceful. Calm. Not a speck of violence inside. It was probably because I was already tired.
Suddenly, I hit water. HARD. Such a hit would have destroyed every cell inside me. Strangely enough, I held myself together miraculously. I saw how hard I had hit the water. It took the water a second to engulf me after I hit it. That HARD! While I was decelerating my way into the water, I looked up, or rather, the force of the water moving relative to me pushed my neck up. I got a glimpse of what had happened. The water that had splashed upwards form my impact, was yet to fall down. It was like a tunnel of air in the middle of water.
I kept going down. unlike the usual times, when your body stops somewhere and you begin to rise. The movement was slow, but it never stopped. I realized that I wasn't breathing. But even after realization struck me, I felt no desperation to suck in air. Holding my breath didn't seem difficult...
I closed my eyes.I felt the water all around me. It felt cool. But comforting.....like how it feels when you're in your mother's womb. Safe.Reviving.
My feet felt the touch of the ocean floor. It felt like soft sand on the beach. Just that it didn't have that sticky feeling. I felt the ground. Firm. The next thing I felt is something I hadn't felt before. In words, I felt an energy that wanted to tear through me more forcefully than anything I can imagine. It was something, I realized, that I had the ability,more so, a desperation to channel this feeling. So I gathered every ounce of whatever this was, and pushed down on the ground, as hard as I could.
The ground that had been solid, started to yield and crack beneath me. But by the time I realized this, my push had propelled me to the surface of the ocean. And my motion felt as if I had broken the surface with a sonic boom. I started feeling the wind hard on my face. But my speed kept on increasing. I wanted it to increase. Then, I felt the sun's heat. With every passing moment,everything looked brighter. It all turned white. Pure. Serine.
I broke free.
The rod extended onto either side infinitely, or that's what I could make out of what I saw. And that's all I could see. My arms overhead, my hands gripping over the rod. How I ended up like that, ask me not, as I don't know either. I tried holding on as hard as I could. I had started to feel my arms losing grip. I tried to pull myself up. Somehow, my arms were tired. Tired enough to be incapable of pulling me up. I guess, I had been hanging on for longer than I had estimated before.Meanwhile, the fingers kept peeling off the rod. I knew that my grip could give away any time now. So I tried pulling and tugging at the rod, as hard as I could with whatever strength I had remaining. No use. I was hanging by my fingers....now the tips of my fingers... Now I wasn't hanging anymore.
My heart skipped a beat. Then, it skipped a few more of them. I couldn't breathe for a moment or two. I think, that's how one feels during a fall. No control. No idea of what and where, up, down or anything was. A few seconds, a song popped into my head. It goes like this..
Gravity is working against me
And gravity wants to bring me down
I don't know why this song, Gravity, by John Mayer, of all the songs I know, was playing in my head. It's blues! And I was falling. Yet it felt peaceful. Calm. Not a speck of violence inside. It was probably because I was already tired.
Suddenly, I hit water. HARD. Such a hit would have destroyed every cell inside me. Strangely enough, I held myself together miraculously. I saw how hard I had hit the water. It took the water a second to engulf me after I hit it. That HARD! While I was decelerating my way into the water, I looked up, or rather, the force of the water moving relative to me pushed my neck up. I got a glimpse of what had happened. The water that had splashed upwards form my impact, was yet to fall down. It was like a tunnel of air in the middle of water.
I kept going down. unlike the usual times, when your body stops somewhere and you begin to rise. The movement was slow, but it never stopped. I realized that I wasn't breathing. But even after realization struck me, I felt no desperation to suck in air. Holding my breath didn't seem difficult...
I closed my eyes.I felt the water all around me. It felt cool. But comforting.....like how it feels when you're in your mother's womb. Safe.Reviving.
My feet felt the touch of the ocean floor. It felt like soft sand on the beach. Just that it didn't have that sticky feeling. I felt the ground. Firm. The next thing I felt is something I hadn't felt before. In words, I felt an energy that wanted to tear through me more forcefully than anything I can imagine. It was something, I realized, that I had the ability,more so, a desperation to channel this feeling. So I gathered every ounce of whatever this was, and pushed down on the ground, as hard as I could.
The ground that had been solid, started to yield and crack beneath me. But by the time I realized this, my push had propelled me to the surface of the ocean. And my motion felt as if I had broken the surface with a sonic boom. I started feeling the wind hard on my face. But my speed kept on increasing. I wanted it to increase. Then, I felt the sun's heat. With every passing moment,everything looked brighter. It all turned white. Pure. Serine.
I broke free.
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